Blog! October 2004

Time to Blog

October 31, 2004

This just in from the Associated Press.

MADISON, Wis. - Police in riot gear used pepper spray early Sunday to clear thousands of Halloween revelers out of downtown Madison after members of the crowd started a small fire.
Officers arrested 250 people, mostly for city ordinance violations, police spokeswoman Emily Samson said. Last year, more than 300 people were arrested.

In Madison, the crowd peaked at about 75,000 shortly after midnight for the annual party that attracts college students from across Wisconsin and outside the state. By 1:30 a.m., about 5,000 people remained, police said.

As police on horseback tried to disperse the crowd, some of the revelers threw objects, started fights, lit the small fire on the ground and set off firecrackers and smoke bombs.

Some windows were broken but there was no serious property damage, Samson said.

Fifteen to 20 people were treated for exposure. One police officer was injured and a state trooper was taken to a hospital after an apparent heart attack, she said.

Police also arrested about 160 when an estimated 20,000 people gathered the previous night.

I've been thinking about the statement , "crawling over the backs ..." It isn't a bad idea. If water isn't moving, it stagnates. If you as a person are not moving forward, you also stagnate. I remember a quote from the film The Seventh Samauri. The Masters are training the towns people to defend themselves against the evil gang that is about to plunder their village and farms. One particular Master was teaching his group. All he did was run. He made them run everywhere they went. He told them, "where ever we go we run. Once we stop running, we die".

Crawling over the backs of fear, doubt, and apprehension is good. Once you have crawled over that, you need to crawl over the backs of ignorance and hatred. Once you stop crawling, you die.

I died along time ago. I just never realized it. I let small, petty, hate filled people beat me down. I never told them it was unacceptable. Of course, at one particular time, if I said anything at all I could have been killed. There were many times I was almost beaten to death. Back in the late 50's and early 60's people got away with treating their children like animals. The town I lived in turned a blind eye to it. No reason to shame the town. I never shook that off completely. I came to fear the pain of having things taken away from me. And to avoid that pain, I just quit trying to have anything. That way, if I had nothing, nothing could be taken away. And if nothing could be taken away from me, I was safe from the pain of having something taken. Crazy, isn't it? Sure, it is easy to analyze it. But to live with the fear of being killed because I was trying to make something out of my life is a fear that doesn't die easily. I came to the conclusion that I was never going to trust anyone, ever again. That is no way to live. I might as well find some soft snow to lie on this winter and freeze to death. That is what I am doing now. Life begins when you start living. I think some people have the good fortune of having a nurturing environment that teaches them that. The only thing my parents ever taught me was hate.

I don't think I ever mentioned just how shocked and disappointed I was when I saw my family again after 25 years. They are all mentally ill. When I had my last physical the Doctor asked me if there was any mental illness in the family. I told him, "everyone is thriving". You know how these medical people are. Too quick to point fingers if you ask me. So, I lied.

Anyway, time is running out. It is time to make the best of what I have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from here on out. No more worrying about failure. No more concerns about the fool. They aren't going to change. Their lives are filled with hate and misery. I can't do a great deal about it. I have a mountain to climb. I know the path, I haven't had the will to keep up the pace. I stopped running. I have to start, today.

I have reached a point in my life that I have to face. I have to start caring about me, and not living in fear of having my hopes and dreams taken away from silly, insecure, sick , perverted people. My family can't hurt me anymore. People can't hurt me anymore. No one can take my life from me. They may kill me, but they can't hurt me. I have to start living a life. I can't just exist like I have, living alone and having no hopes and dreams.

October 25, 2004

Was channel surfing tonight, and I came across this program, "The Swans - Where Are They Now"?

I have to admit a certain fascination with the program. I watched it a couple times to see how different some people ended up looking. Plastic surgery is an interesting science. The ability of the surgeons to reshape flesh and cartilage is at a high level. Some of these women did look beautiful. It was heart warming to see them so happy with their new faces and bodies.

The thing that bothers me is what I call the "west coast mentality", the "Madison avenue" perspective on human beings. For years, I was shunned by women in Las Vegas. One person I worked with had the nerve to tell me once that she could be friends with me at work, but she couldn't be seen with me in public because I wasn't good looking. It hurt to realize people judge your worth as a person solely on your personal appearance.

Since I have come back to Wisconsin, I have been told by many people how good looking I am. That makes me feel good. Everyone wants to be liked and accepted.

I have to be the final judge on who and what I am. If I don't like myself, I have nothing. I will aspire to nothing. I will strive towards nothing. Being told I was a troll and a toad in Vegas wasn't the first time I have heard things like that. I have never been accepted for my physical appearance, until recently. I am 49 years old, and NOW people think I look good? Sure, I gained 20 pounds of muscle. But should that be the sole difference of being a good looking person, and an ugly one? People are shallow. That is a sad reality. And this show, "The Swan" painfully points out just how true that is. I need to think long and hard just what it is I want out of the remainder of my life. I don't know what to think sometimes. I'm tired. I'm tired of the abuse I've suffered. I shouldn't care what people think, but I do to a certain degree. I think we have all been brainwashed to a degree. It is the special individual that can truly love himself no matter how cruelly life treats them. I am a strong person, and their is also a weak side. You can't have one without the other. I am trying very hard to stay focused on the positive things happening in my life, even if they seem small in comparison to the overall misery that I feel.

This new job is tough. But that's OK. I will keep plugging away at it. I have to come home and kick myself in the ass to keep healthy. I haven't been working out, and it is going to bite me in the ass soon if I don't take the bull by the horns. I have to do it for me, not for the shallow acceptance of the mass of people who will like me because I stand up to their personal standards of beauty. True beauty is within. That is where the foundation of success lies. Maybe that is why I have failed to rise too. It isn't the lack of will to run the big race. There is more to it than that.

My goal for the remainder of this year is to come to grips with who I am, where I am now, and where I want to be. Not only at a physical level, but at a personal one. I am not in good shape either way, and I know I have a long way to climb. I can do it. I want to. I can't roll over and let life continue kicking the tar out of me. I'm tired of that.

October 23, 2004

I learned some important things this week. Important issues crystallized. The first week on the job in my cubicle working alone was OK. I did some things well, I struggled with other things. Let's say this first week was a learning experience. I learned that the training I had was inadequate. This woman who started one week prior to my hiring date finished one case this week. They expect eight. She was stressed out because none of the training she received prepared her to deal with the complex computer systems. When problems arise, procedures are to be followed. None of us have had concrete training in procedure. There are manuals online, if you can figure out what problem is explained in the correct manual. More time is spent trying to figure out how to solve the case instead of working the case.

There is also a new procedure called GBP that is being introduced to the Dispute Resolution Team aka Sitel aka AT&T. The experienced people are freaking out over this thing. Seems they don't have access to the computer data they need to resolve these disputes. Again, it appears to me that people are just being thrown into difficult, if not impossible situations with little or no training. Even though they don't have the proper tools to do the job, they are being held accountable for production quotas. What that boils down to is that jobs may be on the line. This GBP procedure was just being introduced two weeks ago when I attended my training classes. Since everyone was busy getting trained on GBP, there wasn't really anyone to train me or the others hired with me to learn what we were supposed to learn. So we are on our own. We were told, "the most important thing about the training you are getting now is that you will be able to ask people for help once you get going on your own". People were freaking out all week over this new GBP thing. You think they had time to help us?

Yesterday, there was a meeting. All the higher ups met with the Team and told us what was coming down the pipe. As of November 30, 2004 the Sitel division for GBP will close in Tampa, Florida. I gathered from the meeting that AT&T was displeased with the quality and the quantity of work being performed, and that the decision was made to move the workload to the Madison facility. The backlog of cases is staggering. We don't have the people to do it. We don't have the computer access to the information we need to do the work. The physical hardware needed to do the job is not in place. A question was asked, "The people in Tampa who know GBP and have access to the data can't do the job. How are we going to do it?" The answer given by the Miles, the top person at the meeting was this, "we will do it because we are better."

The entire Team is being organized into smaller "pods" with one person designated as a lead person in that pod. They will be the "go to" person for problems. Production will be closely monitored. The bottom line is that this job has the potential to turn into a nightmare situation very quickly. From what I understand, the Team will still be handling DSL and MIS cases. GBP cases are just another group we will be dealing with. MIS cases deal with multiple lines of larger capacity such as T1/T2 optical fiber lines. DSL is your small business and individual user who doesn't require greater bandwidth needs. I don't know what type of service GBP customer are receiving. I really don't think I will be finding out soon. When you are new, you start out doing DSL cases. For the most past, they are simpler dealing with one or two lines. Some of these MIS cases involve 25 or more separate lines, each with it's own billing structure and identification numbers.

During the course of the meeting, the question was raised, "are we going to be moving cubicles around to accommodate the new pod arrangements?" Miles replied, "no, people are going to stay where they are. If we move people around, the newer hires will be put in a row themselves and this is not productive. When I was new, this is the arrangement I was put in. I remember asking the people around me ... do you know how to do this? They said no. Another person said, what should we do. The consensus was, we will just make something up. It worked out OK, but things could have worked out better if we would have had seasoned people around to guide us". A man named Pat asked Miles this question, "so Miles ... is this how you rose to your present position; making things up"? A small laugh rumbled through the Team. Miles look at him and said this, "no Pat ... I rose to this position crawling over the backs of people like you." Miles sat there slowly nodding his head. A smirk of superior satisfaction drew across his lips. With one short sentence he spoke volumes. He was superior. Pat was a grunt who didn't have the backbone to assume his position. No one in the room uttered a single word.

Welcome to corporate America. One sentence summed up the entire ideology of American Democracy. You get ahead in this life by crawling over the backs of other people. That describes the course of American foreign policy now, and in the past. This is how we got to our position in the world, and this is how we are going to keep it. This is what we are doing in Iraq today. This is what we will be doing there in the future. During the course of the meeting, praises were dispensed by Miles to the Team. Our professionalism and dedication were brought to focus. Our importance as a Team was emphasized. But in the end, we were all told exactly what the story was. We are underlings, and we will stay underlings unless we have the backbone to turn on one another and crawl up the corporate ladder. You rise to the top by putting others under you. This is Capaitalism. This is how you become a success in this country.

This is why I never ran the big race with the rest of the rats. The people at the top never accepted me into their sphere of influence because I wouldn't shit on people to rise up. At this point in my life, I am not going to start. I will work hard at this job. If I get fired because I can't meet the production requirements, then so be it. Now I know why the turnover is high here at Sitel. People get booted. I hope they are more lenient now because they are desperate for help. I can learn to do what I have to, but my learning curve may be greater than what Sitel deems acceptable. The only question I have for myself is this, "do you have the backbone to do what you need to do to become Kyosanim"? The answer is "no, not at this moment."

October 18, 2004

I can hear these two monks exlaining why they banged this woman.

"She had a great set of tits", the monk told the temple board. I though she was an angel from heaven".
"She took my wang out and started sucking on it, and I had a religious experience", the other monk said.

I wonder if the video will be posted on the Internet? I would love to see it. Just my luck, the babe would turn out to be some skanky slut, like the bimbo Jimmy Swaggart got caught with. Playboy had a lot of nerve putting her in the magazine.

Monks' sex video sparks protests

Two monks have sparked protests in India when they were caught on video having sex with a young woman.

The incident has shocked followers of the Vadtal faction of the influential Swaminarayan sect, reports the Hindustan Times.

Angry crowds gathered outside the sect's temples demanding to know why the pair had broken their vows of celibacy.

Police had to provide security after angry crowds gathered outside the sect's main temple in Dabhoi in Vadodara district.

The temples of the group in Vadtal, Anand and Nadiad in central Gujarat also witnessed angry crowds demanding explanations.

Temple board chief Nautam Swami said the two men in the film were being blackmailed.

He was quoted as saying: "It was a sting operation, part of a conspiracy carried out by the rival faction. It is a two-year-old incident and has been raked up to defame the sect."

October 17, 2004

The first week of the great Badger 5 experiement was a bust. I spent $7, and got $0 in return. I will stay the course. I was looking at it this way. The odds of my combination hitting is slim. It might not hit for 477 years. If I play for one solid year, the odds of my combination hitting for the jackpot is 466/1. I'll take those odds! One dollar a day isn't going to ruin me financially. If you are interested, check out my Badger 5 site. The link is on the Time To Blog main page.

Good advice comes from the strangest places. When it does come, it is a good idea to take. it. This was my astrological forecast for August 30, 2001. I was going through old files on my computer today, and came across it. It still is good advice for today.

"Instead of bragging about your professional prowess, keep it under wraps until it's too late for anyone to stop you, Leo. You can out think your opponent any day of the week, but he or she doesn't have to know that. If the humor is at your expense, continue to ignore it. Stay calm, and you'll soon make someone else look ridiculous. A few moments spent being uncomfortable will be worth it by the time it's your turn to take the floor".

October 16, 2004

I think I would be stunned myself. After doing some math, I have calculated that between State and Federal taxes, the winners of the $214.7 million Powerball Jackpot have paid a 66.19% rate. That's what you get for taking the cash option. If you remember, the man from West Virginia who took the cash option on the $314.9 million jackpot ended up with around $110 million. If you do the math, you come up with a similar figure.

Here is the math on the $214.7 million dollar win ...

214.7 divided by 33 equals $6.506 million
Each winner receives $2.2 million
That is $4.306 in taxes
4.306 is 66.19% of 6.506

I would be more than happy to accept a check for $2.2 million dollars. But just for good measure, when the Powerball Official handed me the check, I would say, "bite me".

Delaware office workers claim $214.7 million Powerball jackpot

Associated Press
October 14, 2004

DOVER, Del. - A group of employees at a Delaware printing firm is stepping forward to claim a $214.7 million US Powerball jackpot, a lawyer for the group said Tuesday.

The lawyer, George Smith, said the winners - 33 employees at Sussex Printing Corp. who took part in an office pool - chose the cash option of almost $117 million, rather than annuity payments stretching over 29 years. "We had a group meeting last night," Smith said in a telephone interview. "I think they're still stunned."

He said after taxes, each of the workers will receive about $2.2 million.

October 12, 2004

For all you trivia buffs, here is a list you might want to archive into your fact starved brain bucket. I am pleased that Moon Unit Zappa made the top of the list. Don't ask me why, because I can't give you a logical answer. Considering the circumstances, would you expect one?

A knew a person who knew someone who's last name was Trout. They named their little girl Brook. That is a true story. I think there are many people out there in the world with names as bizzare, or as cool as these, but they aren't celebrity kids. The rich and famous get all the perks.

Ananova - Moon Unit voted weirdest celeb baby name

Moon Unit Zappa has been voted the most bizarrely named celebrity offspring off all time.
The survey was carried out by Family Active, the new interactive pregnancy and baby care service on Sky digital.

Top 20 in full:

1) Moon Unit; Frank/Gail Zappa

2) Fifi Trixibelle; Paula Yates/Bob Geldof

3) Satchel; Mia Farrow/Woody Allen

4) Apple; Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin

5) Daisy Boo; Julia/Jamie Oliver

6) Rumer; Demi Moore/Bruce Willis

7) Peaches; Paula Yates/Bob Geldof

8) River; Arlyn/John Phoenix

9) Rocco; Madonna/Guy Ritchie

10) Nell Marmalade; Helen Baxendale/David Eliot

11) Maddox; Angelina Jolie/(Adopted)

12) Tiger Lily Heavenly Hirani; Paula Yates/Michael Hutchence

13) Dweezil; Frank/Gail Zappa

14) Brooklyn: Victoria/David Beckham

15) Eugenie; Sarah Ferguson/Prince Andrew

16) Zowie; Angie/David Bowie

17) Rolan; Gloria Jones/Marc Bolan

18) Phoenix Chi; Mel C/Jimmy Gulzar

19) Coco; Courtney Cox/David Arquette

20) Romeo; Victoria/David Beckham

October 11, 2004

When celebrities start dying, they go in threes. I'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but this is what I remember.
The last threesome that comes to mind were Telly Savalas, Bill Bixby, and Frank Zappa. They all had prostrate cancer, and they all kicked the bucket in a close timeframe.

Now we have Rodney Dangerfield, Janet Leigh, and Christopher Reeve.

I'm sure if someone were interested, research could be done, and statistics could be gathered to support this hypothesis. There might even be a book in this bizarre phenomena. I haven't the time, or the inclination. It is just something odd that has caught my attention. I don't keep tabs on this. But the proximity of these last people passing jolted my memory.

Something to think about.

October 10, 2004

I took a shot at last night's drawing of Powerball.
For 214.7 million, why not? I didn't win.
I didn't even get my initial investment back. I spent $10.
I picked some, and I had the machine pick some.

I picked these
01-03-11-46-53
Powerball 23

The winning numbers were
01-03-10-47-48
Powerball 27

A miss is as good as a mile, but as you can see, the jingle was there.

I also like to play a game we have here in Wisconsin called the Badger 5.
You pick five numbers from 1-31. The pot starts at $10,000, and there is a drawing daily.
If no one picks all five numbers, the pot goes up according to how much play it has.
It is guaranteed to go up $1000 every day. It is a popular game, so it rises quickly.
The pot on average will rise to a $60,000 - $80,000 range, and them hit. It has risen to a grand prize of over $200,000 several times. I had 4 out of 5 numbers once. The pot was $30,000. I won $50. Stinks, doesn't it? The lottery reminds me of how Keno is paid off ... all or nothing.

I am thinking of trying an experiment. For one year, I will play the same five number everyday, and see where the chips fall. We are talking of laying out $365. The least I could win is zero of course, but the smallest jackpot in theory would be $10,000. I might just do it. I was looking at the past drawings since the game started 02/17/03. There are repeats of certain combinations. They aren't terribly consistent, but they are there none the less. The combination I am referring to is 29-31. If I just picked three other random numbers to go with the last two being 29/31, who knows? Maybe I could get lucky. What's $365? I could spend that on booze in a year. I can spend that on going to the night clubs in a year easily. I will just re-adjust my spending and funnel it to this crazy shot. Stranger things have happened. In fact, sitting here and thinking about it, I am going to do it. I will set up a seperate web page too. I will keep track of what the daily draw is, and how much I win, if anything. I will put a link on the main Time to Blog! page. If you would like to see how things are progressing, please visit.

Talk about stranger things. I went to that stupid club last night. The one I said I wasn't going to anymore? I was bored, and I ended up going. I met some married woman who wanted to have some casual sex. She hadn't gone home with anyone else in 10 years, according to her. Well, I don't make it a habit to commit adultery, but I needed a diversion. She comes home with me, has a horrible guilt case, and leaves. She got her rocks off, but didn't care if I got mine. She wouldn't even go out of her way to do anything "special" for me, if you get my drift. People are so selfish. Well, I told myself last night I am not going to that place again. I had a last fling with it, and it wasn't all that great. Adequate, but not great. I'd rather win the Badger 5 than end up having occasional mediocre sex. It isn't a good idea from a health standpoint. And there are a lot of nuts out there too. You don't know what the hell might happen. A crazy husband or boyfriend might be knocking on my door with a loaded shotgun. Or I could get a STD. What the hell good is that? I might as well hang loose for a while and see if I meet a nice gal who is willing to spend time with me the next day.

October 9, 2004

A quick note about how my week went at the new job. It must have gone well because on Friday I was assigned my work station. I will get my email set up, and put all my passwords into the computers. I still have one week of training left. In the meantime, I can start to make this cubicle mine. Things are looking good.

Did you hear the buzz about what happened at Mackay Airport in North Queensland? You have to fill in the blanks when you read this story, but it is worth it. I can just see this poor fool going up to the inspectors who were looking for this vibrating dildo in the trash.

"It's not a bomb, it's just my dildo. You see, my ass hole was getting too large for it due to the constant reaming. So I bought a new one, and threw this one away. I'm on holiday, and I wanted to try out my new friend when I got to the hotel."

Sex toy sparks airport scare

Operations at Mackay Airport in North Queensland have returned to normal after a discarded sex aid sparked a full scale emergency.

A passenger threw the personal item in a rubbish bin, prior to boarding a flight to Brisbane this morning.

Staff notified authorities when the device started to make a noise.

Police evacuated the Mackay terminal and were about to call in experts when the passenger came forward.

Acting Inspector Roger Lowe says it is important people do not leave behind suitcases, briefcases or any device that cannot be obviously identified which causes concerns.

He says the man was embarrassed at the chaos it caused.

Flights were delayed for about half-an-hour.

October 6, 2004

Goodbye Rodney. We will miss you.

Comedian 'I can't get no respect' Rodney Dangerfield dies in Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES (AFP) - Legendary US comedian Rodney Dangerfield, best known for his phrase "I can't get no respect," died in Los Angeles after several weeks in a coma, his publicist announced. He was 82.

Dangerfield died Tuesday at the UCLA hospital in Los Angeles, publicist Kevin Sasaki said in a statement.

Born Jacob Cohen in 1921 in the town of Babylon on Long Island, New York, Dangerfield started writing jokes at age 15. At 17 he performed at amateur nights under the name Jack Roy, and at 19, he had two jobs -- as a comic and as a singing waiter.

Rodney worked as a comedian for a decade, but gave it up for more stable income selling aluminum siding.

Dangerfield relaunched his career when he was 40, working New York clubs. He eventually opened his own club, which launched the careers of several noted comedians, including Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Roseanne, Jim Carrey, Jeff Foxworthy, Bob Saget, Robert Townsend, and others.

Dangerfield starred with his bugged-out eyes in such comedies as "Caddyshack" (1980), "Easy Money" (1983), which he co-wrote, "Back to School" (1986) and "LadyBugs" (1992), as well as director Oliver Stone's "Natural Born Killers" (1994).

October 5, 2004

It's a miracle. I got the monies owed to me from the Unemployment Office. My claim is officially closed since I started working Monday, but it is a blessing to have the money. I can pay for my car repairs, and have a few extra dollars in the bank. I need a cushion. Being totally broke week to week is no way to live. I know most of us do, but it is a stressful way to live. I still have to pay off my debts, but I have breathing room now.

I have a great deal of information to learn. I am learning how to operate complex computer programs. They won't be complex once I know how to navigate myself around the desktop environments. Things are looking up. This is the first time since I moved back here to Wisconsin in December of 2002.

I am still not feeling great mentally. I have taken a beating emotionally. I have to shake it off, and go from here. I am looking on the positive things that are happening now. I fought and received the monies owed to me. I fought the Unemployment Office, and won. I didn't roll over and die. I didn't quit trying to find a good job. This is a real opportunity to better myself, and my computer skills. Knowledge is power. I am improving my life. I should feel proud.

October 3, 2004

...a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries."
Simon and Garfunkle

That is how I am feeling today. I'm tired of talking to people. I'm tired of trying to be honest with them. All you get in return is heartache and abuse; not to mention disappointment. I had my share of that lately. Friends suddenly put you on the back burner thinking you will jump through hoops for them when they call you the next time. It isn't going to happen. I'm better off going about my own business. The less people know, the better.

I will no longer be patronizing this particular nightclub I have been going to. Too many screwed up crazy folks with personal problems. It seems their only purpose in life is to try and hurt everyone that comes within their circle. That's fine. I was getting bored of the place. Same morons week after week listening to the same dance tunes.

I will continue telling my readers what I am thinking about. But I will tone it down some. Like I have said before, I will keep the whining to a minimum. I will post some funny stories. They help make my day, and I hope you agree. If you don't, I will be posting them anyway.

First day training with Sitel tomorrow. I am looking forward to starting a new career. I have to look at it this way. I'm too old to be starting over. It is time to make a commitment and to build on something. Once I get situated at Sitel, I can start formulating a workout schedule to teach my martial arts at the corporate level. I told my employer I will work 7am-3:30pm Monday through Friday. That gives me time to do something in the early evening when other people are getting done with their day. I still want to get all the rust shaken off first, and I will do that this winter. I will just "hole up" till spring. I don't have to go out or spend any money; just work and train. I can do that easy enough. I will try and put some money aside to help buy equipment I will need to run the program. I can also put a web site together explaining the goals and how it is going to be run. I am not going to put some fly by night operation together.

Watching the Packers and the Giants. The Packers are ahead at the moment, but they look like crap. The Giants totally dominated them. The score was 0-0 at the half. The Pack just got lucky. Being from Wisconsin that is blasphemy, but the truth isn't always pretty. When life rears it's ugly head, you have to look it in the eye and say, "kiss my ass ... pack up your ugly and hit the road."

October 1, 2004

I just got off the phone with someone from the legal department at the Unemployment Office. Apparently, my working for It's Your Party caused a major snag in the paper work. After talking with this woman for an hour, it seems I will get the remaining monies owed me. It still remains to be seen. The details are too complicated to go over here, and to be honest I don't want to give anyone a headache. One of us is more than enough. I just will kick back and see what happens. That is all I can do at this point.

I report to work Monday. Technically this is training, and my hiring depends on my successful completion of this training. Welcome back to the corporate world where you are considered a grunt till you prove otherwise. I am grateful I found a job considering the economic climate. Things were getting a little close to the bone money wise. They still are. I pray I get the rest of my funds owed to me. I deserve them. I did everything by the book. There is no reason I should even be in this holding pattern. Oh well, the story of my life. One stumbling block after another. If I ever get a break, I'll probably have another aneurysm. That's all I need.