October 2012

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  Walk in Shadows

'I don't have the guts to be in this sport any more,' Tyson said. 'I'd liked to have continued, but I saw that I was getting beat on. I just don't have this in my heart any more. I'm not going to disrespect the sport by losing to this calibre of fighter. This is my ending. I'm not interested in fighting any more. I hate the smell of a gym. I hate the boxing game. That guy [I used to be] in 1985, 1986 - I don't know that guy any more. I don't have a connection with him any more. I'm just not that person any more. I believed that I was still a fighter, but I'm not. I'm washed up.'

'I'll never be happy. I believe I'll die alone. I would want it that way. I've been a loner all my life with my secrets and my pain. I'm really a sad pathetic case. My whole life has been a waste. I've been a failure. I just want to escape. I'm really embarrassed with myself and my life.'

At the end of the day, what truly matters in your life? Is it fame? Is it wealth? I have been watching boxing clips on YouTube. All the great fights are on YouTube. You can watch Max Bauer, Mike Tyson, Rocky Marciano, Sugar Ray Leonard, Thomas Hearns, George Forman, Mohammed Ali, Julio Cesar Chavez, Hector Camacho; the list is endless. Those boxers who went on to live normal lives after they left the ring are few. So many have ended up destitute and forgotten. Hector "Macho" Camacho was taken off life support yesterday after he was declared brain dead from a shooting a few days earlier. Cocaine was found in the vehicle. It sounds like a drug deal gone bad. Just one example of many I could offer.

Of all the boxing greats, Mike Tyson will be remembered not for the man he was but for the man he became. His assent to greatness will for ever be marred by the swift and devastating fall from that greatness. He had wealth beyond belief. It is hard to imagine that he squandered it away. Sure, people stole from him. He was used. He was manipulated. He fell into a black hole of debt so great he couldn't climb out of it. I don't know the details. I don't think even Mike Tyson knows just how it happened. He has suffered great loss but through all of this, he sounds like he is finding peace with his past and with the present. He has a loving wife. He has children who love him. He is making a living, living paycheck to paycheck like the rest of us. He may be beaten but he isn't broken. He has chosen to live in the present and leave the past behind him. Mike Tyson deserves respect. I think history will look back on his boxing career with some distain, but the man will be remembered as someone, who at the end of the day, was just a human being like the rest of us. I can respect that.

For the past five years I have dreamed of getting my foot in side the door of Information Technology (IT). IT pulled the US chestnuts out of the reccession of the early 1980's. It has always been a forward bell weather indicator of economic recovery. When IT does well, the rest of the economy is soon to follow. IT isn't doing well. IT is getting hammered. Ten's of thousand's of highly skilled professionals are getting cut off at the knees. Ironically, the reason IT is getting hammered now in 2012 is the direct result of technological advances currently sweeping information technology itself. This sweeping change is called Cloud Computing.

The thing you should know about cloud computing is that it tends to concentrate information, power and income. The information technology resources of thousands of businesses and organizations will increasingly "migrate into the cloud." One immediate result of this is increased concentration and automation of jobs. Information technology workers are already seeing significant job losses as a result of the move toward cloud computing. Here is one example.

HP (HPQ) announced that it would invest $1 billion in its enterprise services business. The fine print? Over a few years, HP will eliminate 9,000 jobs in the same division as it consolidates data centers and automates management. The investment is actually money spent now so the company will spend less on people, equipment, and software in the future.

Unfortunately, that's the brutal reality of cloud computing. The savings that clients see comes from employees and vendors, as customers in aggregate buy less hardware and software and price competition on the service front races like a wind-swept forest fire.

The other part of cost containment is workforce reduction, because wage and salary expense is a major cost of operating a data center. Layoffs will make the next five to seven years look like 2008, only worse. Although executives will claim they have "freed up resources" to work in other areas, in candid moments they admit that the jobs will never come back and there's little to no room elsewhere in a company for displaced workers.

These displaced workers, many with 10-15 years experience, will be taking what ever IT job they can find. Companies will have the luxury of hiring seasoned professionals into entry level positions. For half the price, corporations will have these people under their thumbs doing high level work at basement prices. And these people will do the work they are told to do regardless of what their job classifications are. They can be hired as a junior database administrator and in reality, be doing developer work. In order to survive, they will do it.

The manufacturing sector is also circling the drain.

In the 2000s, U.S. manufacturing suffered its worst performance in American history in terms of jobs. Not only did America lose 5.7 million manufacturing jobs, but the decline as a share of total manufacturing jobs (33 percent) exceeded the rate of loss in the Great Depression. Despite this unprecedented negative performance, most economists and elected officials are remarkably silent about what has transpired. We have been told the reccession ended in 2009. Nothing can be further from the truth. We haven't even hit bottom yet.

I can't compete with seasoned professionals in the IT industry with 10-15 years experience. There is no opportunity for me to ever get a job in the IT industry. There is no chance in hell. I do not even see the opportunity for me to get a job free lancing. These jobs will also be filled with displaced workers. It isn't beyond the realm of possibility that people who had lucrative jobs in IT a few months ago will find themselves living in the street. There is not enough jobs in the country to satisfy the needs of millions of people desperately looking for them. What good are skills when there isn't a job to apply these skills to? This is the sad state of current affairs. I am barely hanging by a tread and I do not for see any change in the future, period.

I can not give up hope. I have said I need to create a job, somehow. I need to create a job that will provide me with the bare necessities of life. This job has to be something that brings joy into my life and give me a purpose. I have said that failure is not an option. This all sounds good but the cold hard facts of the present economic genocide sweeping this country is dominating present reality. Is there room for hope in this present reality? I am starting to doubt it.

I was reading parts of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV). You would think I would have better things to do with my time than to waste it browsing the "Skull Jockey Bible", but I had a purpose. The results of this research are disturbing. Asperger's Syndrome is being re-classified as autism in DSM-V. The sales pitch is that kids can get insured without a hitch and this will provide them with the care they need to grow up normal. I can't say that is a bad thing but there are ulterior motives at work and these motives have sinister undertones.

According to DSM-IV, the holy grail of psychology, people with autism are just a hop, skip, and a jump from schizophrenia. Since Asperger's Syndrome will technically be classified as autism, people with Asperger's Syndrome will now be placed into a high risk category for schizophrenia. This is total horse shit. I have nothing against people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am against the unjust stigma that society places on people diagnosed with schizophrenia. Placing a stigma on people with Asperger's Syndrome is horse shit. Placing a stigma on anyone is horse shit, period.

According to a new study by researchers at Columbia University Medical Center, schizophrenia and autism share a genetic link:

The Powers That Be don't want free thinkers, or individuals who set higher standards for themselves. They want the status quo maintained and they are taking the legal steps, backed by science, to see that this is enforced. People with Asperger's Syndrome set higher standards for themselves. They have drive. They have a desire to improve themselves. If they can't stop this group of people with high standards and drive who want nothing more than to become something better than what they currently are, they will round them up and brand them as schizophrenics. Everyone knows what kind of people schizophrenics are. They are dangerous. This is what the media is telling people. This is how they are portrayed in the movies and on television. They need to be locked away from the rest of the normal people. This is how people are marginalized. This is how legal precedent is set. So called scientific observations and studies are backed by harder science like genetics that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that what they are saying is true. In this case, what they are saying is that people with Asperger's Syndrome are a danger to society. You have to read between the lines at this juncture, but the writing is on the wall. 20 years from now, which is nothing in the march of history, people will be tested at birth for dangerous genetic defects. These defects will be determined by the State and those people diagnosed with these defects will either be institutionalized for their own protection and the protection of society, or they will be eliminated from the gene pool. Eugenics will replace religion. God will have a name and this name will be FEAR. Open your eyes and look around you. This is the world we are leaving to future generations. It starts with one group and when this group is diminished, we are all diminished.

Just kicking back on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The new job is working out. I am not thrilled with running the great race. The race hasn't changed and neither have the rats. I never have figured out how to do this on my terms, so the situation I find myself in at the present is good. I have fallen into a decent situation. Will have to make the best of it. Having a steady paycheck coming in is better than worrying if I will be able to keep my humble home. There is a silver lining here.

I keep saying I need to get training again but this has become more than just a good idea. I am getting old. If I don't start fighting old man time, I'm going to end up dancing with the Reaper sooner than later. I'm getting old. It's a fact. Hate to realize this but it was going to happen. Time is not my friend. The days ahead are fewer than the days behind me. I honestly do have to make each one I have left worthwhile. I have been thinking about getting a bankroll together. I should have taken better care to plan ahead and take care of myself financially. I should have done better in many areas of my life but I haven't. I am feeling low about this but I can't turn the clock back.

Romney and the people surrounding him are fools. Their heads were stuck so far up their lily-white ass holes they couldn't see the trees from the forest. From what I have been reading about the demographics, a huge number of white voters stayed home. Unlike Romney, the rest of us white folk are not wealthy and living off the fat of the land. We saw Romney for what he is. He is a corporate raider. A hedge fund hyena. He is Simon Legree. He wasn't going to do jack for anyone in this country making less than $250,000 a year. It is no surprise that 96% of the Black voters cast their ballots for Obama. It is no surprise that the 70% of Hispanic voters cast their ballots for Obama. According to the electoral news gurus, Blacks and Hispanics control the elections in this country. This can't be a good thing for white males. We are at the bottom of the food chain. No one is asking us how we feel. No one cares. In this country you can be proud to be Black or Latino. If you show any pride in being white, you are branded a Nazi. This is wrong. Hispanic politicians care about their Hispanic people. Black politicians care about Black people. What do we have? We have clowns like Romney. I am afraid white males are at the bottom of the priority chain and this past presidential election points that direction. This isn't a good thing.

November 9, 2012

It never ceases to amaze me the content I find on YouTube. I am totally consumed with the idea of learning more about computer code. I still look at Powershell even though I can't really put it to use. I know it is a programing language but you almost have to understand how to do that before you grab Powershell and make it sing. It is basically used to administer computers and servers. I get that part. I think it is an amazing science.

Lately I am getting back to my roots of using HTML to create web sites. I ran my coding style through an HTML5 validator. It didn't surprise me that it was a semantic disaster. It is a prime example of obsolete code. The coding style I have developed will work for technical reasons I won't go into. Regardless, I need to upgrade. Full use of the state of the art methods employed today need to be implemented.

I found some kick ass video instruction on YouTube. The video I find is as good as what you would experience in a live university setting. I found three books to read also. If I go through all my video instruction and read the books, I will pass the 70-480 exam. The term "webmaster" is also obsolete. Now you are a web developer. I see the distinction. The pages you can create with HTML5, CSS3 and JavaScript are indeed something close to an application --- like a computer program.

Speaking of YouTube, I also find time to entertain myself. I can't be serious all the time. I like to watch this gal from time to time just to see what crazy shit she is up to. Her name is Melissa Water. Her handle is Idranktheseawater. I honestly don't know if she can be taken seriously. She comes across as a person who is trying to help others like herself who cut themselves. She claims to have Tourette syndrome . She claims a lot of things. Being YouTube, you have to take her revelations with a grain of salt; pun intended.

In her most recently uploaded instalment, she says her mother is dying. She also said her dad was a pedophile. She talked about this dream she was having. In the dream, she asked her mom if she still thought that the old man had molested her and her sister. The mom said she didn't belive that anymore. So, Melissa said she stabbed her with a sword. She then stabbed her brother. A friend came by and asked if everything was ok. She stabbed him too. You have to love instant global communication. It has made it possible for me to sit in the privacy of my own home and watch crazy people poor their hearts out in living color. I do the same thing I suppose. I like to think I keep things geared down a few notches below full blown crazy.

Understand the basic HTML document structure:
Use HTML tags to display text content.
Use HTML tags to display graphics.
Use HTML APIs.

Understand how to style common HTML elements using CSS, including:
Separating presentation from content.
Managing content flow.
Managing positioning of individual elements.
Managing content overflow.
Basic CSS styling.

I knew there was and will be a demand for experts in this particular area.
The materials I am currently learning are exactly the ones I need to know
in order to take this test. I am definitely ahead of the curve on this one.
It would be a real shame if I didn't pursue this like a fucking banshee.
If I have to get some shit job along the way in order to pay the bills,
then this is what I will have to do. This opportunity is genuine.
I can't let this one slip past me. I have gathered the latest materials I could
find on the Internet. I have everything I need to accomplish the goal of acquiring
the prerequisite knowledge. I can do this.


November 2, 2012

I will become an expert on HTML5 & CSS3. There is a market for it. There will be financial opportunities for those people
who can develop HTML5 & CSS3 "correct" web sites. There is a commercial incentive for them to be and it all has to do
with the Cloud, the mobile device industry, and the push for Internet Standards. I think web sites of the future
may have a tendency to look like they have been cut out of the same cookie cutter mold, but this won't matter.
It is all about dollars. The more people are connected to everything, the better chance there is that commerce can
get a hook into them to purchase something or to subscribe to a service. I honestly think that money is the driving force
behind Internet innovation today and creativity is nothing more than a smoke screen to sell it. It's a constant
exposure of consumerism. They might as well plug our brains into a central computer so they know what we are doing and what we
we may need to buy 24/7. Wait a moment. Haven't they already done so? Isn't this is what it is really all about?
It's mind control. Save the peace and love routine for the gullible. Technology is not being pursued to free the world and empower
humanity. It's about slavery. It always has been.

Having said that, I still fancy the idea of living. I need to eat. I need a place to live. I need to have a life worth crawling
out of bed for. I have walked a fine line between selling my soul to the great corporate machine and marching to the sound
of my own drum. It has come to the point where I may still have the choice to march to this sound, but the sound is a death knell.
If I have to run with the rats these last 20 years of my life in order to survive, I have to find a way to create an income stream.
And even then, I'm still going to be plugged into the system for all practical purposes. I still have to cash checks and deposit
money into the banking system. It is a matter of doing it on my own terms. I have always said I wanted to get a small martial art
school going. I don't know if I have the skills to do it. I may have the heart but that isn't enough. I'll be damned if I am going to roll
over and die at this point. I'll get my act together somehow, some way. That is why I am looking at HTML5 & CSS3. It's a hook.

In the meantime, my own pages will stay relatively the same. I will have to develop an HTML5 template from scratch to build my future
blog pages. I have to figure out how these new element tags work and where you put them. It is going to take some time.
I am still looking at Powershell and C#. They will serve me well in this endeavor to get my foot into an IT related job.
But, even before all this can come to pass, I have to get this Clickbank project completed. It is a real income stream generating
possibility. I have to pursue this above all else.

Silver is taking a bath today. This really hurts me. Silver lost -4.18% in value. That is huge. Just a few weeks ago it was hovering around $35
an ounce. It closed at $30.91 I have to sell some of what I have to be able to keep my apartment. Today's decline cost me a month's rent.
I will have to stay on my toes and sell when it gets back in the $33 range. It should. I hope it does before I am forced to sell out.

Whoever gives his labor for money sells himself and puts himself in the rank of slaves. (Cicero)


November 1, 2012

I've spent the entire day reading about HTML5. I know I often go off on a tangent thinking
I have discovered something that will help me pad the old resume, and in doing so, I may still
find that elusive job where I am working with happy, professional people. I don't think that
will happen but this hasn't stopped me from thinking that an expertise in HTML5 & CSS3 can be useful.
I honestly think it will be. From what I have been reading today, the pages I put together are not in
the HTML5 ballpark. I have been aware of what style sheets are but I have never employed them.
This will change. For the meantime, if it isn't broken ...

The funny thing about the style of HTML I use is this; it works. It looks exactly how I want it to look.
The pages behave in the manner I wish them to behave. They are cross platform. And if I do say so myself,
they don't look bad. Given all this, why try and change? The reason I should change is to become a professional
web designer/developer. This is an on going project. Something else is far more immediate.
I have to get some income coming in and I need to do this today. I have a book in mind that I intend
to sell through Clickbank. The sooner I get cracking on this, the sooner I will create an opportunity
to build an income stream. It isn't like I have to create characters, a plot, and all the other elements
required to write a great story. This story is all ready written. All I have to do is sit here and drudge it
from the depths of my soul. That may take some doing. I know I have to dedicate the rest of November to more
or less complete this project.

I remember Tom Clancy Jr. talking about writing.
He said writing is sitting in front of your typewriter and opening up a vein.