May 2023

It's Fate. It must be. I walked away from the Casino business for the last time. There is no looking behind me. My last corporate job ends the same way the first one began right out of High School; being treated like shit. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I have one last job to complete, and that is living the life I choose. This might be the hardest one yet. I'm sure it is.

*Note
I don't have any friends. I'll make new ones.

Work is not OK. If you look at my resume, you will notice that May has been something of an anomaly in my work records. I have quit, resigned, or been laid off 90% of the time during the past 20 years in the month of May. 2023 is no exception.

Regarding my current job, I try to convince myself that I don't care that the Manager of the Surveillance Department is a vindictive child masquerading as a man. I try to ignore that Nathan Leu is a psychotic troll going through life filled with hate. You read about people complaining about toxic work environments. You never read that the problems are being seriously addressed. The standard operating procedure is, "no one is forcing you to work here."

I am torn. Social Security keeps the roof over my head, the lights on, and the water running. It pays my cell phone/Internet bill. I have $80.00 left over for everything else. I can not afford to own a car. I have no money to go out and enjoy a nice meal in a restaurant. I can't afford to entertain anyone. If push comes to shove, I can walk away from this shit hole I work in. That has been the game plan all along. I am debt free at the moment and I plan on staying there. I have to come up with $75.00 a week to supplement my small monthly checks from Uncle Sam. There isn't any reason why I can not do this. If I re-allocate the 40 hours a week I am dedicating to the betterment of the all mighty corporation, and dealing with the scum that is part and parcel of this industry I work in, I would be living a better life. I can go back to school via the Internet and brush up on my computer skills. I can dedicate the rest of my life exploring my creative abilities. I can nurture my Mind, Body and Spirit full time. I have to hang through June and July.

I need to put a small nest egg in the bank and take it from there. The goal is to collect a paycheck for the next 10 weeks. After that, I turn my back on the Casino business and never look back. I have to finagle the missing income somehow, some way. If I don't make this attempt, and just roll over and justify the abuse I am experiencing as part of the program to earn a living, I will regret it.

Just a quick post. Sitting here at the library. Looking at some free courses through
Good stuff here. These courses are just as good, if not better, than anything you'll find on YouTube that is free or even free courses through Udemy. They offer free certificates and even have some things going through Universities were you might get college credit for your efforts. Worth looking into the fine print.

Looks like the winter is finally behind us. It lingered way too long. Soon, it will be sweltering and I will long for those nice cool days I am currently glad to see gone.

Work is OK. The money coming in is a reward for the 19 months I spent living on scraps in order to pay off the debt load that was busting my balls. I seldom give myself credit for anything, but this time around I acted on what I saw was coming down the pipe. The economic forecasts were mixed almost two years ago, but one constant remained; uncertainty. I acted on this and today while many of my fellow countrymen are suffering, I am prospering. This is what happens when you are on the right side of the fence and you work your ass off to create your own opportunity. I am sitting well and I have taken an important step in trusting my own better judgment. The ball is rolling and I need to continue rolling with it. It is time to put the hammer down on my creative projects and strike while the irons are hot.

This is good. I'll be working this into my daily routine.
Pushups baby!