Occult Library
June 29, 2008
The Amanita muscaria I ordered arrived today. This mushroom is not illegal in the state of Wisconsin, or any other state that I am aware of. I am preparing a dosage on the stove presently, and will ingest the tea/mushroom substance shortly. I am not jumping into this experience haphazardly. According to the research I have done, I am preparing a medium dosage. Since this is my first encounter with this mushroom, I am treading lightly. I did smoke some, and I believe I am feeling some effects. This particular species has been respected and revered in the history of neolithic culture and the shaman tradition since the dawn of man. The purpose of ingesting this mushroom is to expand your consciousness and come to an understanding of yourself within the contect of the Cosmos. I don't know if I will be able to elaborate much further once the effects take hold.
3:15PM
The tea I was brewing is ready for consumption. I simmered approximately 5-7 grams of dried cap; a relatively small amount of material. Since I do not know how my body will react to this substance, this is probably the wise course. The mushrooms used to create this tea were quite delicious. What is interesting about this mushroom is the body actually converts the Ibotenic acid present to Muscimol, the hallucinogenic property. That is why it is important to dry them first to help with this conversion process, and the preporation into tea also furthers this conversion. I will save my urine, and consume it. This practice is recorded in shamanic oral history concerning this mushroom. From what I understand, the effects will manifest anywhere from one to two hours from time of ingestion. It has also been strongly suggested that you do not experiece Amanita muscaria alone. The reason being is that the shamanic experience is a death experience. I understand this and I am not afraid. This may be sheer ego talking, but my Will and powers of concentration, are unsurpassed. The purpose of this experiment is to come to an understanding of my past and present. I hope to realize purpose through this death experience, if I have one.
4:30PM
Experiencing strong bodily sensations. I believe I have a blockage in my root chakra, and am feeling discomfort around the groin area. The less I focus on this area, the less the pain. I am feeling flushed. I believe the initial unpleasant sensation is subsiding. Will return to the toilet. It is dark there, and darkness is an important aspect of this ritual. I have drank my urine. It was extremely salty. I don't know if that is the way it tastes all the time, or if the consisentcy is due to the Muscimol content. Will try and continue this journal in one hour.
9:00PM
At 5:30PM I felt compelled to lie down. I did not experience any visual phenomena. I did not receive a message. My thigh/calves felt pain. I believe this was due to the Ibotenic acid. I did not feel nausea or experience vomiting. I fell asleep, and woke at this present hour. I took two aspirin, and indulged in a hot shower. I feel OK. I did collect approximately 20 fl. oz. of urine that according to my sources should contain a high degree of processed Muscimol. It is clear that I must increase the dosage in order to create the experience I seek. Next week end off, I will again prepare 5-7 grams of dried cap in a tea solution. I will mix the finished tea with the collected urine, drink both, and consume the cooked mushroom caps. This quantity should double today's intake of Muscimol and produce the desired effect. All in all, today's experiement was a success. I did experience an altered state of consciousness. My body looked different. I had the sensation that I was beautiful, and I needed to take better care of my physical self. I wasn't expecting this. I do not enjoy the physical discomforts experienced. They were unnerving, but manageable. I could have easily panicked and let my thought's run rampant, but I did not allow this to happen. I told myself this would pass. I do believe the next experience will be more violent at the physical level, but I am prepared to endure it to reach the spiritual level I seek. On second thought, I will freeze what liquid I have. I believe this will help maintain the integrity of the Muscimol content. I think it a waste to throw this processed substance away. The Ibotenic acid has been removed to a degree, and the remaining chemical composition should contain high amounts of the hallucinogenic property.
June 28, 2008
Checked my RapidShare page. Not a single individual has downloaded a file I uploaded. The Scribd page is better. I have received multiple views on the documents there. I have to day off making for a three day weekend. The weather is pleasant. If anything, I could sit outside my apartment on my bench and soak up the sunshine. Saw a show about Andy Warhol. My first impression of it was that he was a freak and a weirdo. I tend to forget, or ignore the fact that I am in no position to judge anyone. He made something of himself. The guy had guts. He worked constantly. He had vision. Compared to these enduring qualities, who am I? The weather has turned from sunshine to more rain. Combine flood, high gas prices, layoffs, and a weaker dollar and you have all the ingredients of a lack of job security in my present financial situation. The current store director is a bumbling fool to top things off. What business the store had is being run out the front door.
June 26, 2008
Michael Ford posted a response in the forum that struck me. He mentioned structure as a primary factor to knowing yourself, and channeling the energy needed to create your destiny. I know he is correct. Martial Arts was my structure/foundation till I pissed it away. I have spun my wheels drifting from one job to the next. I was successful in the gaming business, but it was a dead end emotionally. I always felt there was something greater out there. I do not know myself. Time to get down to the dirty business of forging my sword. I've been angry. The only person I need to vent this anger on is myself. I downloaded a few business books last night of high caliber. I have to schedule them in the mix.
June 23, 2008
Got some more books today from Scribd. These are the last of them. I have so many books I want to read, it will take 10 years to finish them. I jotted down a list, and it came out to 13 books I want to read BEFORE I attempt to tackle the rest of the monstrous archive! These are good; 911 Synthetic Terror by Webster Griffin Tarpley author of Bush - The Unauthorized Biography, which I have. Americas War On Terrorism and The Globalization Of Poverty and the NWO by Michel Chossudovsky. I have read numerous articles written by this man on the Global Research web site. He is well informed, and has a clear, concise writing style. I have to stay focused. I am still struggling to sustain my energies in the creation department, but I am still in the ball game. Looking at this past month, I have to do better.
June 22, 2008
I have downloaded a ton of documents off the Scribd web site. It has a fantastic collection, but the manuscripts are difficult to acquire. The search engine is also cumbersome, but the cost is right. If you have the patience, and the time, you can obtain valuable information here. I got a copy of Philip K. Dick's VALIS, a copy of The Power of Seduction by Greene, (author of The 48 Laws of Power) a 1097 page anthology of knowledge called The MIT Encyclopedia Of The Cognitive Sciences edited by Robert A. Wilson, two books on plant pharmacology, and a manuscript written by Henry Ford entitled The International Jew - The World's Foremost Problem This book is one that remains under the radar because Henry Ford is lauded as a father of capitalism and inventor of the mass production line. History could just as well judge him to be an anti-Semetic Jew hater. If the exact document had David Dukes name on it as author, people would be crawling over each other to get an opportunity to call him a white racist. From what I have read, Hitler read this same document and found it to be quite enlightening. This is one I will have to get to eventually. As of now, I have to earmark just what I will tackle next. I also downloaded some excellent NLP documents, and some top rated books on memes. These topics will be incorporated into the book I have in mind. At the moment. I am racked with labor pains, and probably will be till I give birth to this book.
June 16, 2008
I am providing this extraordinary document. I have no affiliation with the ONA (Order Of Nine Angels) nor do I endorse their National Socialist orientation. The manuscript is unsurpassed in it's intellectual presentation of Satanism/Left Hand Path philiosophy. Read this ONA Compilation.
I have to get my oil changed. Paid a shit load of bills. I have to resist the feeling I am getting boxed in. It may appear that life is closing in on me, but that is a matter of perception. These are difficult times we live in. Living hand to mouth is the standard for a great many. I have to work harder to change my present predicament/employment.
June 15, 2008
Here are some comments made about Tim Russert since yesterday:
Thank god this steaming pile of horse-shit died. Come haunt me you old fat piece of crap, you won't scare anyone.
As for is this appropriate? How many people died for the war he helped sell to the American public?
Let the dead rest guys. We got a bunch of living problems to deal with. When you bravely attack the dead you look like a real child. Russert was also the guy that asked Kerry AND Bush on public tv about their Skull and Bones connections. He may have "sold out" or he may have been infiltrating. Infiltrating this corrupt organization and stopping its madness forever is what we should all be doing, not beating up on a guy that just died. Have some respect for his family and act like a decent human being. He is not a threat to you anymore so let him rest, child. That is acting like a man. Focus people, there is an extremely wealthy force of evil we have to deal with now that is very much alive and in control of our government.
It is easy to say Russert was party to the propaganda machine that we today call the "media." I am not going to argue that the national news broadcasts are trying to sway and shape public opinion. I have thought this to be the case for some time. I ask the people making these comments ( I read several that referred to Russert as a whore, etc.) "what are you doing to change the current state of affairs in the US?" You are doing the same thing I am ... trying to survive. I don't know what I could have done to stop the US intervention in Iraq. The truth be known, I don't have the power to stop anything the Government has decided to do. These decisions have been made, and were made a long time ago. I think Russert did what he could in his limited capacity as a reporter. I still believe he wasn't a stooge, but I could be mistaken. I know this, he did what we all are doing, he tried to create a life for himself and his family. I'm sure when Sy Hersh dies, people will be kicking his corpse around too. I will repeat what I have said before concerning Sy; he is the last man standing.
Since I have decided to keep comments about my personal life to a minimum, I won't whine about the difficulties I am currently facing. I'll rise to the occasion. I always have. I will say this ... I'm tired.
June 14, 2008
I have put The 48 Laws of Power on the shelve temporarily, and decided to read a different book I downloaded a few days ago from the cache of same origin. The book is called Poker Without Cards by Ben Mack. It is recommended by Kurt Vonnegut Jr, Robert Anton Wilson, Richard Brodie, Douglas Rushkoff, and others. I am familiar with these authors and respect their suggestion that the book is worth reading. So far, I agree with their analysis. I still have other irons in the fire. I will get to them. I'm slipping on the FOCUS aspect. I'm not perfect, and a work in progress is just that. One thing this book has shown me is the power of consensus; especially the power of consensus wielded by Institutional Power. My Vegas mantra run silent, run deep sums up an often overlooked tool of survival. I need to follow the sound of my own drum, and let the rest of humanity squabble over immediate gratification, personal opinion, and the need to be accepted by the mainstream.
Sad to see Tim Russert died yesteday.
I liked his style. I didn't watch him religiously, but when I did, I enjoyed his reporting. He wasn't a cookie cutter. A sad commentary that most journalists today belong in a bakery, not a newsroom.
June 9, 2008
The year is progressing quickly. Life is short. There is never enough time. The key is to narrow the focus to a laser perspective. All energy must be expended to a specific, minute sphere of consciousness. If this is not realized, the time and the energy expended will dissipate, and true accomplishment will be slow or non-existent. Small, almost miniscule building blocks must be constructed. The foundation is created by constructing each facet at the atomic level. What is unseen eventually become manifest. Time and the proper focus of energy on the sequential task is the secret. What does this mean to me personally? I poccess ALL the books I will ever need to accomplish the dreams I have. I know other publications will crop up, but in the final analysis, I have everything I need. There is no rest, no peace. I feel time is more my enemy than ally. I have to ignore this postulation. I have as much time as the next (as far as I know.) What I can accomplsih in the next 20 years is mind boggling. I have the tools.
I downloaded a fantastic book this morning! It holds knowledge that is a real key to personal power. This book ranks as a grimore by any magikal standard. The book is The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene. Here are two of the forty eight laws stated in the Preface. The book then goes into a detailed analysis of each "Law" to complete the 476 page tome. I could not help but think of the current situation in the Middle East, and the previous Gulf War under George Bush Sr:
Law 15
Crush Your Enemy Totally
All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation. The enemy will recover, and seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.
Law 22
Use The Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness Into Power
When you are weaker, never fight for honor's sake; choose surrender instead. Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane. Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you - surrender first. By turning the other cheek you infuriate and unsettle him. Make surrender a tool of power.
According to the site I found this archive's link on (The Dionysian - The Opinions Of A Free Thinking Pagan), this cache of FREE .PDF books is going to shut down. There are a number of dead links now, but The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene is still active, as are many others. There is a TON of interesting books here. Grab them while you can.
I need to mention the storms that roared through Wisconsin the past two days. Since I have been indoors, and not watching the TV, I wasn't cognizant on the severe damage that it caused. I just saw a news report that Lake Delton near Wisconsin Dells is gone. The Wisconsin river changed course, demolished the banks, and the lake simply drained away destroying homes in it's wake. A tornado touched down right here in Stoughton! I don't think it did as much damage as the twister that hit three years ago, but there is damage. Flooding is a severe problem. I am wondering if I will be able to drive to Fort Atkinson tomorrow. Will just have to climb in the vehicle and see for myself.
June 5, 2008
Both of the articles are from this mornings The Capital Times publication here in Madison, WI.
State man sent to prison for bank fraud scheme
A man convicted of wire and mail fraud for setting up a banking scheme that yielded more than $2.5 million has been sentenced to 11 1/2 years in federal prison. Daniel Tepoel, 57, Barnes, Wis., received the sentence Wednesday from U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb in federal court in Madison.
Bungling bank robber gets nearly 32 years in prison
U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb sentenced Thomas Evans, 36, of Rockford, Ill., to 382 months in prison for his role in a Nov. 9, 2007, heist, which netted the holdup artists $5,895, most of which was recovered. Fellow robbers Troy Thomas, Donald Thompson, Curtis Seaberry and Skye Archambault all testified that Evans was one of the group that entered the bank with handguns and wearing masks.
If you pull a gun on someone in the act of theft, you get your life tossed away. If you destroy lives through fraud, you get a lighter sentence. This is how I interpret the philosophy behind the sentencing of these two criminals. But then again, what do I know? In ordering the lengthy prison term Judge Crabb said Evans was "an amoral person" and "impervious to the feelings of other people." Apparently, Judge Crabb didn't feel that Daniel Tepoel was "an amoral person" and "impervious to the feelings of other people."
Was reading an interview that Terrence McKenna gave back in October of 1996. This comment struck me, as did a great number of things he said. "People love to give away their power, and follow Christ, or Hitler, or Shree Bhagwan. They don't understand that no one is smarter than you, no one understands the situation better than you, and no one is in a position to act for you more clearly than you are yourself. But people endlessly give away this opportunity, and subvert their identity to ideology. It’s the most perverse thing about human beings." Hard to hate someone who doesn't have the intellectual capacity of a common housefly. On the other hand, given the opportunity to increase knowledge with the click of a mouse, despising the weak and the ignorant is still a viable option.
June 1, 2008
Life rolls along. Humanity continues to wallow in ignorance and fear. The promise I made to never hate anyone is getting more difficult to honor with each and every passing day.
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