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Iraq Today


July 31, 2008

Would like to end this month on a positive note. My birthday is coming up soon; August 10th. It is hard to believe that three years have passed since I turned 50. Things are OK. I renewed my lease. I am not totally satisfied living here and plodding along day to day earning a living. But that is my affair and I have to deal with it. I am making a commitment. A time for reinvention is long overdue. Skills and knowledge must be acquired and mastered over the course of the coming year. My back is against the wall and extraction is the only recourse.


July 29, 2008

Got up earlier than I normally do, and headed over to my landlord's place of business so I could renew my apartment lease for one more year. The price is good and I am comfortable here, so I can hang with it. I am giving myself one more year to get things right. Come this time next year, I will have created a situation where I am financially more in control of my life. This is a huge undertaking, but worth the pain. I can not continue living day to day at the mercy of forces beyond my control. I have the power to create a situation where I have MORE control than I presently do, which in all honesty is close to zero. I do have a lottery ticket for last night's Super Cash. I will have to check it and see if I am $350,000 richer.


July 28, 2008

Nice day outside. It is warm, almost hot, but not as humid as predicted. Went to club Inferno Saturday night. They had some 1950's retro night. The music played was vintage Frank Sinatra tunes. I was totally disappointed. The crowd turnout was miniscule. I ended up going home before midnight. I did get home in time to watch The Shield, so the night wasn't a total lose.I saw something at the club that was disturbing. This domitrix had a male slave, dressed in drag, following her around carrying a bottle of champagne. He was dressed in heels way to high to walk comfortably in, and was forced to waddle around clumsily at her beck and call. At one point, she was holding the bottle, and this slave person was kneeling at her feet with arms outstretched ready to retrieve the bottle at any moment deemed fitting. Like it or not, most of us are subjected to similar treatment. The work environment makes slaves of us all who are expected to serve the needs of the company. The expectations are demeaning and insulting, but we get a paycheck out of the arrangement. Until we are able to create an environment that is conducive to financial self sufficiency, we have no one to blame but ourselves.


July 22, 2008

I made the offer to provide my ONA link to members of Michael Ford's forum. All they have to do is send me an e-mail and ask for it. Happy to see that I had seven responses so far. The .pdf files I made are OK. I am learning to better format as I go along. Last day off before returning to the salt mines. Am heading out to the mailbox, and then off to get a bite to eat.


July 21, 2008

My license has been reinstated! It's over, I can drive like a normal person again. One catch; my physical driver's license is in the mail, and I won't have it in my wallet for a couple more days. There is a technical gray area here, but I am not driving around under a revoked status. Just to be on the safe side, I will not be joy riding around till I have that piece of plastic in my possession. I will go to and from work and that is it. I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) this morning after my interview. My driving privileges were reinstated today. I sent the paper work in, along with a check for $60 (that was deposited) two weeks ago. Some lazy ass didn't follow through on it till this morning. Maybe that is the way they do things. The trouble is, the DMV computer system doesn't allow someone to get a duplicate license the same day it is reinstated. So I am in between a rock and a hard place. I am off tomorrow, so maybe I will have it by Wednesday. Talked to the store director at Monona this morning. I think I will be able to transfer to the meat department there. The manager - Ken - said he would work me in and would show me how to cut stuff. This is an opportunity. The money is good, and should be a stable position. I have a financial foundation to work from. I can not continue to be lazy, and just float through. I have way too many things to be working on if I am to create my Destiny. Collecting a paycheck isn't part of the game plan. I created a new logo for webstonne. It is at the top of the page. It says it all.


July 20, 2008

Did something yesterday I haven't done for quite some time, I spent money. I bought some new pants, shirts, underwear, and socks. I have an interview tomorrow morning at the Copp's store in Monona. The timing is perfect. I was told last Friday by the present store director at the Pick N Save I am working in that my position with the meat department is being eliminated after this coming week. It is a long story, but this cut is unjustified. The store is going down the toilet because of this clown's mismanagement. He offered me a position working in the grocery department. A nice gesture tainted with hidden motive. If I accepted and went to grocery, it is obvious my pay would be cut since I am not designated as meat department personnel. This interview I have tomorrow morning is for a position in the meat department. My pay would be secure, and I can continue surviving in this brutal economy. I was forced to take a vacation day last week to offset the lack of hours being provided. I also had to take a vacation day this week for the same reason. Enough of life in the blue collar world.

Along with my new clothes, I bought a pocket knife and a walking stick. The knife is a bit shorter than I like, but it legal. It has a nice feature. It has a spring assisted opening blade. Again, it is legal (for now). This is something new in the knife world. I am convinced an individual will be stabbed to death with a knife of similar design, and this model will be outlawed. I can make it work if need be. Am also relearning how to flip my Balisong. From what I was reading yesterday, this model has been discontinued from the Benchmade line. I have two knives I have never used. I originally paid $165 each. They are now worth $300 or more. Not that this will put bread on the table, but interesting non the less. I specifically purchased the two hoping that they would be collector items eventually.

I have focused on what it is I want, and how to make it happen. I should have done this 25 years ago, but that is neither here nor there. Opportunity has never been an ally. I have walked this Earth hated and shunned. It only shows how childish the masses are. Anyone who tries to better themselves is despised by the great unwashed. Anyone who tries to make something of themselves is hated by the herd mentality. I never got passed that, till now. And because of the time frames involved, my back is against the wall. I only have myself to blame. First order of business is getting my health back to optimum.


November 27, 1940 - July 20, 1973

One last note. Bruce Lee died July 20, 1973, at 32 from swelling of the brain. Hard to imagine 35 years have passed.
The longer I live, the more I realize how short the time frame is. Bruce Lee was, and continues to be an inspiration. Here is a short biography provided by the Bruce Lee Foundation. Click Here to download. Looking past on my life and the decisions I have made, I am disappointed. As long as I have breath, I will work to change the present. Creation of wealth has never been a goal of mine, and now, I am paying the price for this lack of vision. Money is important. First I have to get healthier. Second I have to focus. Last, I have to execute. It is that simple.


July 13, 2008

I have decided to thaw last week's Amanita muscaria urine, and consume it this evening. I need to verify the claim that the urine produced will induce the effects of the mushroom intake. If this claim is true, to what potency? I have 16 FL OZ. Will this amount produce the same effects of the 20 grams of mushroom cap ingested last week end, along with the five cups of tea/two cups of previous urine (5-7 grams cap)? I figure the urine consumed last week did not contain a great deal of muscimol given the small quantity of mushroom eaten. This present batch should provide a kick given the amount of mushroom content ingested. I will not be certain till I follow through with the experiment. I am not thrilled with the prospect of drinking two cups of pure urine, but this is the only avenue I have to verify the claims that Amanita muscaria urine does in fact induce an equal/similar experience of the Shaman's mushroom intake. The urine is thawing at room temperature at the present moment. I will log the time consumed, and if possible, the beginnings of any physical/mental alterations. After this evening, I intend to put an order in for another 28 grams of dried cap. This experiemnt will give me a clear understanding of the claim, and the validity of this urine/Amanita muscaria relationship. With this knowledge, I can administer dosage with more authority.

8:30 PM
Down the hatch. By 10:30 this evening, I will know if this concoction has euphoric properties. Before I forget, I'm eating papaya enzyme to coat my digestive system. It helps keep your stomach contents where they belong. Whether you are eating tasty cooked mushroom caps, or drinking your own piss, this dietary supplement will help. This should ease the danger of vomiting associated with the Amanita muscaria experience.

9:45 PM
Not much to report. I am feeling some bodily sensation, a few waves of sensation, but nothing close to the experience last week. The two hour window seems to be accurate.

10:25
I'm beginning to think that claims made concerning the potent euphoric qualities of the Shaman's urine are exaggerated. I'm feeling little to nothing; no twitching, rushes, visions. Freezing the contents should have little effect on potency, if any. I am sure people drinking the Shaman's piss did so "right out of the cow." If there is to be any change in perceptions, they must have had to drink a gallon. I may skip this ritual in the future, and concentrate eating the cooked caps, and consuming the tea left over after simmering them.

12:00 AM
I do not doubt that drinking the Shaman's urine will induce an Amanita muscaria experience. You have to consider these factors. The Shaman has been digesting mushrooms for years, and at high frequency. Given this time frame, it may be possible the Shaman's urine is a potent concoction of muscimol, and able to produce the euphoric experience. As it stands, collecting urine from a one time dosage isn't going to replicate the present level of intoxication. At least I didn't puke on it.


July 11, 2008

I have been silent these past couple days. There are so many physiological irons in the fire, it is difficult to keep a perspective. On the work front, I am in the process of transferring to a different location. It would be a promotion, better pay in the long run, and something I think I could somewhat enjoy. All in all, a decent day job to support myself financially till I get my shit squared away. It is still my firm desire to create a life where I can support myself independently. If I fail, I will indeed regret it. I can't let this happen. It isn't a sure thing, but an opportunity worth taking. If this position falls through, I will keep applying till I secure something. This store I am presently working at is going down the toilet. On the political front, insanity has taken center stage. The US is bullying Iran with threats with what amounts to an all out embargo. To enforce the scope of this resolution would be nothing short of a full declaration of war. Iran is popping off missiles as a show of resolve and a demonstration that the nation can, and will defend itself in the event this embargo becomes a reality. Don't forget the Jews. I am sure Israel has their nuclear forces warmed up, and are ready to bomb Iran into oblivion. This annihilation would be justified in the name of self preservation and promoting peace and stability in the Middle East. The insanity lies in the apathy and the ignorance of my fellow country men. The majority of the nation has little, or no knowledge of H. CON. RES. 362. Not that it really matters. We can't stop it from becoming the law of the land. What irks and disgusts me is that the national attentions are turned towards the tabloid magazines, this dog and pony show called the presidential race, and late night talk shows spouting dribble. This is what we have become; a nation of fools. My only recourse of satisfaction lies in my separation from the herd mentality. With this thought, I shall move forward. There are others who are voicing concerns on what is going on in the Middle East. Here is an excellent example: Seymour Hersh: A Journalist Writing Bloody Murder And No One Notices


July 6, 2008

At 12:10 AM I began twitching uncontrollably. I attempted to make a short journal entry to log sensations I was experiencing, but was unable to navigate the keyboard. The dosage of 5 cups cap tea plus 2 cups urine (2 full mugs tea/1 full mug urine) plus ingesting the cooked 20 grams of mushroom was an excellent combination. Everything I expected, and more resulted from this prescription. The experience was profound, and personal. The way I view the universe will never be the same. Overall, a positive perspective. There is no beauty without a counterbalance of ugliness, but this is the Law of Correspondence. My internal digestive system was percolating, but I did not experience nausea or vomiting. I don't know if this was due to my concentration, or being a particularly good batch of mushrooms. Either way, I kept everything down. I flushed the old urine down the toilet. Keeping it for more than a week strikes me as unhygienic. I do have a new batch - 16 Fl OZ. The container has a measuring scale on the side of the bottle. Didn't see this before. I plan on collecting more as the day progresses, and then will freeze what ever I have. I don't know how powerful an experience I would have just ingesting this solution. I do intend on purchasing another 28 grams of caps in the near future. I just may freeze this batch and wait till the shipment arrives in the mail. As far as the physical after effects go, I feel weakened, but not debilitated. Am not experiencing leg cramps. I need nourishment, and have some eggs cooking on the stove.

Perhaps a word on my encounter would be appropriate, and useful to any of you who are planning on exploring the wonder of Amanita muscaria for yourselves. The occult teaches us that "as above, so below." Much has been written about the macro/microcosmic relationship between man and the universe. A more accurate description might be Cosmos. I am using the term Cosmos to describe what I perceived as an experience of infinity, plus an awareness of Mind associated with the universe. Perhaps what has been said about the universe is true. It is Mind. I can not characterize it as a mind. I can not say with certainty that I sensed a supreme intelligence, or anything closely resembling Omnipotence. I did not see the face of God. I did experience this. I remember a time before my birth. I have always had this overpowering notion that I remember being born, and a sense of something else shortly before I emerged from the womb. I know believe his something else was the Cosmos and my place in it. I had a powerful sensation of all knowledge in the third dimensional plane of existence being wiped clean. This doesn't mean I was cast into ignorance. At first, it alarmed me. I focused on things I know, and I was able to retrieve them, but they seemed external. Eternity/Cosmos was one aspect of the universe. The other was an unfolding, a division, an ongoing process hard to describe. I think it was the artificial perception of time. This time line we imagine is only a blip on the Cosmic radar screen. Our perception of time here in this 3rd dimension is flawed. There is no past, present, or future. Science tells us the age of the universe is such and such. This is an illusion. The universe is timeless. We are placing an external and artificial template on what we are experiencing on this particular plane of existence, and applying this template to the universe as a whole. The universe/Cosmos is far greater than just time/space. I do believe it is Mind. If the universe is Mind, then we are also mind. There is no separation. As such, we have the power to create a reality of our own choice. This is where the occult knowledge comes into play. Once ancient man understood his relationship with the Cosmos, as cosmos, he began to forge his will to manipulate this plane of earthly existence. One avenue was the physical elements of the earth. Through alchemy, he would harness the forces of nature to do his bidding. Not the bidding of a heavenly deity. This physical manipulation is a creation of man, and not a creation of the Cosmic Mind. The other avenue is the energy inherent in the body of man. If man is able to harness this energy, he will ensure health and longevity. By harnessing this energy, he creates the Will needed to forge his destiny. In the beginning, there was light. Call it the hand of God creating the heavens and the Earth. Call it the Big Bang. We are light. Light is energy; both wave and particle. This knowledge that we are beings of light, separated here in this plane of existence, yet part of a grand Cosmic Mind was very apparent to me. For part of my experience, I was outside the 3rd dimension. I was not afraid. Death didn't exist. I didn't think I was dead, but I was not afraid of it. Suddenly, I was aware of the unfolding, divisional phenomena. It was unpleasant. I felt trapped, unable to escape it's over powering force. I felt like I was being imprisoned. This leads us again to the occult knowledge, the hidden truths of who and what we are. This plane we are living in is either hell or heaven. We have no choice but to create our own destiny. If we don't, we are bound to exist in a prison not of our making.


July 5, 2008

It is 8:45 PM. I just arrived home from work, and am preparing an Amanita muscaria tea. I will brew approximately 15 grams of weight, drink the tea solution, and consume the mushrooms. I don't have a scale to weigh the mass, but will "eye-ball" it. I am preparing two times the solution I did last go around. I also have approximately 24 FL OZ of urine I collected last week from the previous experiment. According to my research, this urine contains high levels of muscimol. I plan on adding a mixture of half tea - half urine. I don't have experience drinking my own urine, and I didin't enjoy drinking the cup or so I did last week. It isn't an ideal time to be doing this, but I want to be able to recover tomorrow, and if need be, Monday. After all is said and done, It may be early morning by the time I "come down." The tea is brewing, and it will take 30 minutes. I believe I have 15 grams of caps in play. Along with the urine, this should be enough to take me beyond the previous encounter. I am also figuring in the urine I will produce from the solution I am drinking tonight, so if I don't reach the full blown euphoric condition from the solution at hand, this should push me over. I don't want to short myself this time. I figure I have 6 grams of caps left. This might not be enough to experience the full blow shamanic near death experience, but what I am preparing coupled with the subsequent urine produced will.

I have to remain calm. I am alone and am relying on the force of my own sheer Will to travel this journey. I said this last time; this may be ego talking, but I feel I alone am qualified to walk this Path. For some strange reason, I don't think I will be alone once I encounter the euphoric state. I feel confident that if I need assistance, there is an inner force/guide that will stabilize my emotional state so I can focus on the knowledge I seek. It is 9:15 PM. I will let the solution brew another 15 minutes. If I do start feeling ill, and vomit, it is all part of the experience. No reason to panic. If I hadn't read about this, I would have reason for concern. That is why the proper consumtion is crucial. I know I am not ingesting too much. 15 grams of caps, plus the tea was considered medium consumption. Along with the added urine, this should be adequate. I don't dispute the information I have on the effects of the urine, and the high content of muscimol it provides. I will ingest the entire lot at one crack.

9:20 PM. Am consuming the first large coffee mug of solution. I do not dispute the research I have that your urine contains high levels of muscimol. According to the Shaman Tradition, people would drink the Shaman's urine, and reach levels of intoxication equal to the level of mushroom intake. I froze last week's supply, so I am not certain if this will damage the sample. Again, I am using caution and sound judgment as I embark on this inner quest. From what I read, drinking the urine was superior to the intake of mushroom because your body has filtered out the negative elements, and the urine consists of mainly refined muscimol. The urine solution heightens the hallucinogenic aspects of the experience and lessens the focus on the bodily sensations; especially the negative. Just measured the intake on the large coffee mug. I have consumed 2.5 cups of fluid. I have also consumed the cooked mushroom caps. They are quite tasty. I realize that once I have eaten them, I have sacrificed the option of regulation, but I planed on this formula. I still have 2 cups of fresh brewed tea, and 2 cups of urine. I can regulate intake from this point. I have the option of consuming fresh urine. Will wait till 10:00 PM before I drink any more of the freshly brewed tea, and access the level of intoxication. Effects should manifest within 60 minutes.

10:00 PM. Am feeling bodily sensation; nothing drastic. Am feeling flushed, as if I was sitting in hot sunlight. At this point, I will drink the prepared tea, with some fresh urine added. It may be better to use what fresh urine I have at my disposal. The total fluid is approximately 2 cups tea and .5 fresh urine; one full mug. This equal 5 cups of fluid and the 15 grams of cooked mushroom caps. Down the hatch! I do have a "pipe full" of dried material left over. I am going to inhale a few lung fulls. If I do not start halucinating by 10:30 PM, I will prepare the remaining 6 grams of caps left, and consume the tea/mushroom material. In fact, I am going to start it now. I trust the source of this Amanita muscaria supply. I just might not be ingesting the proper amount to reach the levels I imagine. By my estimate, that would be a total of 21 grams of dry weight at this sitting. I am surprised that I am not experiencing any deeper sensations at the present moment. It has been approximately 57 minutes into this experiment. A totally dark environment is stressed, but I want to sit here at the computer and journal the initial onset. It isn't happening. Again, I just may be figuring a low dosage. One source I was looking at suggested 25 grams dry weight. That might be closer to what is required. I figured on the previous saved urine being strong enough to compensate for 5-6 grams of dried mushroom cap; that is what I consumed last time. I drank half of what was saved. I might have to add it to the new batch. It doesn't slide down the hatch smoothly. I will try not to think about it. I do not favor the taste. Again, I may be able to add some fresh urine to the newly brewed batch by 11:00 PM. to get the kick of the entire six grams of mushroom content.

10:30 PM. The second mug of solution has been drunk. The bodily sensations are increasing. Feeling light headed, and my hands are warm. My stomach feels queasy, but not upset. I will definitely eat and drink the last batch at 11 PM if I don't embark on a full blown extra-sensory experience by that time. I prepared about one cup of water to simmer the six grams of mushroom cap left. If I do not feel I need it, I won't use it. I believe freezing the concoction does it no harm. Turned out the lights. The only illumination in the room is that coming from the computer monitor. It is 10:35. Will let the tea simmer. At 11:00 PM, I will cross the Rubicon.

10:40 PM. Taking a good hit off my pipe. Maybe that will help jump start this project off the ground. Getting close to tea time. Just ate the last 6 grams of material. I am feeling waves coming over me. but they are minor. My legs are feeling heavier. I think at this point I may as well consume the last of this mushrrom, and charge ahead. I will add some urine to the tea too. I don't enjoy it, but I intend to reach a level of consciousness greater than during the experience of June 30. I think I need to incorproate all the chemical ingrediants at my disposal. Yummy! Nothing like fresh muscimol urine to add to that Shamanic Experience. 11:00 PM. I am having trouble navigating the keyboard, and am relying on the spell function frequently. The keyboard is clear, but my hands are not striking the keys with accuracy. Must be an effect coming on. I do hope so because am loosing some patience. It has been 1.5 hours since the first ingestion of Amanita muscaria, and I would figure some kind of alteration would occur by now. Am chugging the last of the mug. I figure it contained 2 full cups of solution. Definite sensations are being experienced now. My throat is feeling stranger. I feel like I am going to break out in a sweat. I calculate 7 full cups of solution; 5.0 mushroom/2.0 urine and 21 grams of cooked mushroom cap. That should take me from here to where I wish to be. 11:15 PM. It's all consumed. Will walk away from the computer and lay in a dark room now and see where I end up.


July 4, 2008

A somber holiday. I don't think it is just me. It is a struggle to set aside the worries of global conflict, and the financial uncertainty on the home front. H. CON. RES. 362 will probably pass, and the probability of war with Iran will edge closer to certainty. Regardless, I have to live each day focused on my immediate goals, and sustain the belief that my long term plans will bear fruit.

July 1, 2008

I have not fully recovered from yesterdays Amanita muscaria experience. Even though I did not ingest the needed quantity to reach the levels of intoxication I was looking for, I am feeling fatigue and muscle soreness. Must be after effects of the Ibotenic acid. It is imperative that you are in a state of rest fullness and good physical condition before you embark on such a journey. I came away knowing this ... I HAVE to get back to an exercise regimen and stick with it permanently. I will attempt to reach the desired levels of consciousness expansion this coming week end. I am attempting to download ONE more book from Scribd:The Law of the Rhythmic Breath - Teaching the Generation, Conservation, and Control of Vital Force BY ELLA ADELIA FLETCHER. This is a valuable book, especially for my personal health. At this point, exercising my lungs to their fullest capacity and efficiency is essential to my sustained long term health. An opening quote also speaks directly to me:
The secret of all success in every undertaking is concentration of all energy and all endeavor upon that aim. Remittent effort, with many irons in the fire sharing attention and strength, is a wasting drain upon time and human energy; and never, unless under rarely fortuitous circumstances, produces more than mediocre results.
I have said this much in different ways at different times for the past couple years. Time to pay attention to what I am telling myself.

My van's starter is shot, and I can't drive to work today. I went to a shop down the street, and they will get it in later this afternoon. I hope it is running by tomorrow so I can hold onto this job. Regardless of how worthless it is in the long term plans, I need it now. Sad, but a paycheck is a paycheck. I like to think I am independent. I am not. I am a slave to my present living situation, and this unpleasant reality must be addressed, and changed. On the bright side, I did find a copy of the book mentioned in .PDF format I can download. I am having troubles downloading works that are 15-20 MB's off the Scribd web site. Due to their set up, modem speed doesn't cut it on larger files. This is the last one I want, and truly need. A daily regimen is long over due. I won't change my present sitting here picking my ass.









Luciferian, extra terrestrial, Transhumanism, magick, occult, music, martial art, karate, yoga, Amanita muscaria, mushroom, shaman