Looks like the server migration my hosting service undertook was a success. I don't know exactly what this migration entailed. It may have been a hardware upgrade. It might have been a software upgrade. Whatever it was, it is working well. This is all I am concerned with other than the curiosity of what the technical details were. I could call up the help desk and se if they would inform me of the logistics. All I am concerned with is performance and this issue is resolved. I am pleased I didn't have to log into my account and start configuring the DNS. I gave the site a general once over and all the files look they were uploaded; no bad links or missing graphics. That is a plus. I congradulate the individual or the technical staff that performed this migration. They did an excellent job. Today is the last day of the month and I usually like to jot something down here, putting the month in perspective. I think it was an OK month. I was not able to stash any cash away into the "change my life" fund. I have been frugal. I also spent money on paying down some credit card debt and renewed my hosting service. The debts I have is small, and I plan on keeping it such. I didn't spend any money on new toys, or anything remotely considered as entertainment. Just goes to show how tight the financial purse strings are. I am living on what is basically a subsistence level. The sad thing is I am making decent money on the face of it, but when you factor in the costs of living, it isn't anything to write home about. The bottom line is I am healthy, I have enough food to eat, I have a roof over my head, no creditors are hounding me for payments, and I am in a good place emotionally and spiritually. I have to keep moving forward, overcome what ever obstacles lay before me in this journey, and make my dreams a reality. Some of these dreams do not entail cash funds to make them materialize. Some of the dreams do. I will work on this balance.
I was informed by my hosting service that it can take up to 24 hours from the time the update was completed for any newly-published content to be visible on your Web site. I just uploaded this post using my favorite FTP program (FileZilla) and it didn't show. Will check tomorrow morning before I head off to work and see if it publishes.
Was doing some research today and came across some fascinating material. I am posting a link here for those of you interested in learning more about this man and his writings on the conspiracy to destroy the USA. I realize this material is way out there ... this stuff is even out there for me! But I never leave any stones uncovered when it comes to research. You can actually download the entire collections of audio tapes in MP3 format from this site.
Dr Peter David Beter (1921-1987) is most remembered for his Audio Letters, cassette tapes on conspiracy topics sent out monthly to subscribers from 1975 through 1982. He was a successful and well-connected business man who disseminated dangerous information most refused to believe and many attempted to suppress.
A good video by Michel Chossudovsky. Many of the things he talks about are echoed by Tarpley.
Here is a link ... Articles by Michel Chossudovsky. He has written several books. His point of view is worth weighing. My hosting service sent me an e-mail today informing me they are migrating my web site to a different server. I hope they know what the hell they are doing. Some of these IT people are real hacks, and I don't mean that in a good way. Most IT geeks consider themselves hackers if they have a certain degree of real skill. I am using the term hack in the truest definition ... a total fuck off who takes something that is working and butchers it. I have a back-up copy of the entire site, but I do not relish the idea of manually uploading it file by file. I will if they screw up and lose it. I might have to log in to my account and modify the DNS setup with the new IP address too. Will know in 24-48 hours.
February 23, 2010
Renewed my hosting and domain name services today. Both are good till August 12, 2013. It cost me $125.86 That isn't a great deal of money considering how much I have enjoyed putting webstonne.com on the WWW. It is a small contribution of information with possibly even a little knowledge thrown in. I know there are links on sites all over the world to pages I put up. I will continue blogging my observations, my rants, and my moments of quite desperation. I foresee the darker moments becoming less prominent. The world will continue to disintrgrate. There will be war in Pakistan, Sudan, Iran and more than likely with China eventually. It's only a matter of time before a nuclear device detonates somewhere in the world. I fear that time is not that far off. Ever the more reason to smell the roses today, pursue your dreams, and make the best with the little time that is left.
February 22, 2010
I mentioned that I have been listening to podcasts and really enjoy them. I try and listen to various subjects ranging from political commentary to the occult. I have been listening to World Crisis Radio.
This is a podcast produced by Webster G. Tarpley. I discovered Tarpley a few years back when I came across a book he wrote ... The Unauthorized Biography of George H. W. Bush. The man doesn't pull any punches. He certainly doesn't look at the world through rose colored glasses. His information is solid. After reading his books or listening to his podcasts, you may come to the conclusion he is a conspiracy freak. He sees boggy men everywhere. He might even be characterized as being paranoid. I would think this, but since there are boggy men every where, it is hard to dismiss his conclusions. He is worth looking into. We all create our own reality tunnel. I like to think the tunnel I create is at least based on balanced information.
February 21, 2010
I was pleased to find this article while I was browsing the news: Is Joe Stack a Wake-Up Call to America?
I am not alone in thinking that this desperate individual was not a psychotic maniac who just happened to wake up one morning and snap. His decent into desperation was a slow, methodical grind that eventually broke his spirit, his faith, and his desire to live in a world where his value as a human being wasn't an issue. I've been there. I talked about it here in this Blog. I know I am not alone in this perspective. I have referrred to the "powers that be" for years. I have ranted about their greed and their arrogance. I have lamented with disgust the privledges the rich have compared with the honest hard working people who toil day in and day out, working like dogs just to survive. I have written about how the wealthy can do what ever they want, break the law with impunity, and not be held accountable. The story of Joe Stack is the story of the common man and woman. That is why it has struck a chord. That is why the people in this country aren't going to buy the "terrorist angle."
My own personal solution to this fiasco of inequality has been to try and find joy in doing something I enjoy. I am trying to find something to do that will pay the bills. If I am to work like an animal the remainder of my life with no prospect of ever attaining a degree of financial security, I wish to be doing something I love. Getting rich isn't an American Dream anymore. If your 401-k gets too fat, it will be stolen. The money I have put away into the Social Security System might not even exist ten years from now. It may already be gone for all I know. We aren't supposed to enter into the ranks of privilege. It's a private club. I've accepted this. I have no delusion on where I stand. I am not a slave. I may be chained to a certain social status, but my mind is free. There are opportunities to create a working situation I can deal with, and even find joy in. I can make enough money to live a decent, simple life. This is all I desire. If this opportunity is taken from me and the rest of the hard working, honest people of this country, all hell will break loose. This is the message of Joe Stack.
February 19, 2010
I was reading articles about Joe Stack today, the man who flew his Piper Cherokee into an IRS office in Austin, Texas. The FBI described Stack as a "classic lone wolf" impossible to stop. Stack's suicide note/manifesto , an angry rant against the IRS and the government which was posted online the morning of his death, got around 20 million hits before it was taken down at the request of the FBI, according to Alex Melen, president and founder of T35, the network service provider for the Web site where the note was posted. Melen, 25, said within minutes of taking the note down, the company was "bombarded" with around 3,000 e-mails demanding Stack's words be re-posted. Most were shocked by the charred scene of Joe Stack's kamikaze attack on a Texas IRS office, but for an alarmingly growing number of Americans, Stack is a hero. The Web was studded with praise for Stack almost immediately after his plane slammed into the Austin office complex Thursday morning. The admiring salutes appearing on sites ranging from Facebook to the pages of extremist groups reflect what experts say is an "explosive growth" in the anti-government patriot movement.
I believe Joe Stack has touched a nerve here. I read his suicide note/manifesto. He does not come off sounding like a USA hating fanatic. He does not come off sounding like a left wing screw ball or a right wing neo-nazi. His words comes right from the heart. It is lucid, factual, and this is the frightening part, it strikes a chord of truth that no one can honestly deny. I suspect that the Obama Administration, members of the Senate and the Congress will take little or no heed of the message that Joe Stack has made. He will be brushed off as a mentally disturbed and misguided individual who came to a tragic end. I do not wish to see this country errupt into a sea of carnage. But I fear if things do not change, we are heading towards this very senario. The government doesn't want to listen to people like Joe Stack. The government doesn't want to listen to us. This hubris, if it continues, will have dire consequences. They refuse to listen. They refuse to read the writing on the wall. This disturbs me. The spin begins ...
February 17, 2010
I ran across these videos about Steven J. Bernstein. He was a poet, playwrite and author. He also made some music as well. He played guitar, sang and did poetry readings. On 22 October 1991 at the age of 40, he took a knife and stabbed himself three times in the neck, cutting the artery, and died.
I'm feeling better today. The shamanic/alchemical work I have been doing these past two months were grueling and took a toll on me. It isn't pleasant wadding hip deep in psychological shit, but it had to be done. I think I have successfully burned a great deal of this toxic psychic dross, and I am better for it. I will continue moving forward with the tasks I have set forth, and this gives me purpose. Purpose will keep me focused in the short run, and this focus will guide and sustain me along the journey. I have many things I would like to accomplish before this bone weary body of mine succumbs to time and tide. Even if I don't accomplish them all, I will have made the effort, and this alone fills me with joy. Joy is what my spirit needs. Now that my soul has been burned clean, I can accept and understand the struggle.
February 15, 2010
Yesterday was the first day of the Chinese New Year. Here are some facts on
2010 is the Year of the Tiger.
2010 is the year of Geng Yin.
2010 is Year 4707 in the Chinese Caledar.
2010 is the 11th year in the current 60 year Cycle.
I have to start stretching. I have never been limber. Now that I am getting older, I can feel this limitation in my body every time I get up in the morning. Living in pain isn't something I am fond of looking forward to. To a large degree, I have been living in pain because of this limitation. The older you get, the more work it takes to see results. This is a fact of life. More work takes more time, and who among us has any time to spare? It has to come down to making the time. I made a video for YouTube about what I saw coming for the year 2010. On a personal level, if I don't stick to my goals and get my act together, I am going to flush myself right down the toilet physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have come this far. I can't give up now.
February 14, 2010
I woke up yesterday thinking it was Sunday. I don't know why or how I could have lost an entire day, but I was certain I had the day off. I realized my error and called work to tell them I would be running late. My desire to have a day off must have been so overwhelming I convinced myself that I wasn't schelduled to report in. I haven't been tardy or missed any days so I didn't get too much slack over this oversight. Makes me wonder just how miserable I must be to manufacture this mind set. It is 3:30 AM and I am up. Today is Sunday so I do have the day off for real this time around. Since I am up so early, I am going to clean my apartment. I haven't given it a good once over for awhile. I have stuff to sort and discard, and get things in order. I live in a small space so it doesn't take much to create clutter.
The day is bright filled with sunlight. The temperature is crisp. Overall it is a nice February winter day. I went outside, walked to the corner Kwik Trip and bought a cup of coffee. I need to relax and stop the needless worry that plagues my troubled mind. The opportunity for joy is endless. It isn't something that will be as a result of doing something. It is a state of mind. Joy is something I haven't experienced much of lately. This needs to change. The great architect of change is your personal perceptions. The power of thought is the greatest power on the face of this Earth. What you think you create.
February 11, 2010
Woke up at 3:30 AM and got out of bed for awhile. I cooked some oatmeal ad did some research on massage schools here in Wisconsin. There are several accredited schools in Madison. The costs are reasonable. They are recognized by The Department of Regulation and Licensing. These schools are also recognized by The American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) and other professional organizations. You do not need to be certified to work as a massage person, but you can not describe yourself as a massage therapist or use the term "bodywork" on any business cards or advertisements. There are benefits to being state certified and belonging to at least one professional organization. Going to Thailand and studying the ancient art would be a wonderful experience, but as a newcomer, it may be prudent to attend a school right here in Wisconsin close to where I am presently living and get state certification through that school. I can go to Thailand later. Once I get my shingle, I can practice what ever I want. Another advantage to attending a school in Madison would be the availability of grant money to help pay the academic costs, and get money to support myself during the course. I could trade in the van for a more economical vehicle and drive to Madison and continue living right where I am. I would quit my full time job. School would be my full time job. I might have to work part-time, but that remains to be seen. If I can get the money together, I wouldn't have to worry about paying the bills during the course of this education. It would take 6 months to 11 months depending on what time of the year I start. If I get the money I need to make it happen, I could start this fall. I think this is the best way to approach this. I have a lot of ground to cover to tie up all the loose ends. I am good at doing that. If I am to get accepted for the fall semester at this particular school I was looking at this morning, I have to get the funding secure. I have work ahead, and I have to start getting it together now.
February 10, 2010
I believe I am developing a tolerance to this plant I have been taking. Either that, or the potency of this last batch isn't what the others were. I had a pleasant experience. I wasn't given any mind shattering information that kicked my emotional ass either way. I did experience an intense increase in visual perception, and I feel that my capacity to absorb larger quantities of information and process it has been improved. This improvement is a long term result that I had anticipated, and it is bearing fruit. I have enough material for one more experience. I will hold off a week or two and use it before it goes stale. After that, I do not intend to buy any more for a long period of time. I will use this time to exercise the improved neural network I have been creating. And I feel it is important to allow the information I have accumulated this past month or two to work it's way into my conscious awareness. There are things that need time to filter through.
Talked to an old friend the other day. I haven't talked with him for several years. He is going through a rough stretch. He has a strong intellect and a solid network of friends and family to support him, so he will be OK. That's easy for me to say because I am not walking in his shoes, but my gut instinct tells me things will work out, and my gut instinct has been seldom wrong.
I am glad this Wednesday is over. Wednesday is the most labor intensive day of my work week. Everyday in this pit is intensive, but Wednesday is particularly brutal. My entire body is in pain from the pace required to get everything done that is required to get done in order to maintain my employment status. It is days like today that reinforce my desire to do what ever I have to in order to acquire the skills necessary to change my working life. I know I have a lot of ground work to cover, but I will do it. If I don't, I will lose the will to live, and I refuse to sink that low. I still have a number of good years left, and when I look Death in the eyes, I want to do it with no remorse. If I don't do something that brings joy into the remaining years I have left, I will regret it. My mantra is fatigue is not an option. This is the phrase that sustains me.
February 9, 2010
I like the feature on these YouTube videos where you can browse for other similar content. I am not familiar with Korean shamanism. I believe there are aspects to it that are the same with all practices in all parts of the world. I do not know if I will venture beyond the veil today. I don't have to work. There are no pressing issues to deal with other than those of everyday living; dishes, laundry, cleaning my house. I do need to read up on the school in Northern Thailand, renew my passport, check out lodging, and other things associated with going overseas to study. I will get to it soon enough. I can't do everything. I need time to let things settle. I did get dressed and go out and move my vehicle from one side of the street to the other. We are getting snow accumulation and the plows are busy. I moved my van over to the clean side of the street and I could leave it there overnight because the side it is on now is the safe one for today. If I leave it where it was, I'd get a ticket after midnight. Forecasts are from 6-8 inches. It is a fine powder type snow coming down, so I don't think there will be any problems. If the wind kicks in there are problems with drifting and visibility. I am not planning on going anywhere. Maybe today would be a good time to just sit and explore my inner self. This plant material does have a shelf life and I need to use it accordingly to reap the maximum benefits. Besides. it cost a fortune and I don't want it to go to waste.
February 8, 2010
No matter what your plans may be, you have to stop and smell the roses today. NOW is the only time we have. I can plan ahead for the future, but telling myself "once I get all these things done I am planning on I'll be happy" is an illusion. I have to be happy today. I have to find some joy in living day to day while I am trying to better myself and my situations. I try and do this. I am aware this is a necessity. I often time forget because working where I do is sucking my soul dry. I can not allow this to happen or continue to happen. I am not angry with myself for playing the slots yesterday. I took a shot. It might have paid off but it didn't. The idea of cutting six months of toiling away in the salt mines was just too overpowering. It's back to the drawing board. I am going to incorporate an austerity program for the next six months to compensate and even overcome my inability to sock more money away than I have been able. It isn't a hardship. I don't go out much anyway. Rubbing elbows with the great unwashed isn't my idea of fun. I will probably head out to a club sporadically, but for the most part, I will save money and set my medium and long term goals into action. Stonne Wellness Center will become a reality.
February 7, 2010
Drove over to the Ho-Chuck Casino earlier today. I lost the $300 I won last week, plus another $200. I took a shot at the slots again, but this time around I got the shaft. I never had a pay out. The reels whirled around and never aligned into a viable pay out. I was playing five dollar machines at two credits a pop. That equates to 50 spins with absolutely no pay out. I know things like this happen all the time, but it is hard to believe that it isn't a set up. I got what I deserve. All I wanted was a little something. Looks like I will just have to keep my nose to the grind stone and save a few dollars a week when I can. I need $15,000 to secure the opportunity to go to Thailand and get my massage credentials. This would cover the plane ticket, the cost of the school, my lodging, and enough money to come back to the USA and start a new career. I still have $5,000 and that can not be touched. So, I have a good start. It is only a matter of sticking to the plan. Today is a perfect example of why I never visit the casino. They are a nothing more than a source of false hope. This week at work was hell. I just can't see how I am going to physically continue dealing with what I have to deal with for the next 11 months, but it looks like this is what I have to face. I came home after I lost the money and laid down for a few hours. I was still exhausted. I have to return tomorrow, but have Tuesday off. I know fatigue is not an option, but that is easier said than done. A solid pay out at the slot machine would cut six months off the time I would have to spend toiling away like a dog day after day, but I guess I have no choice. If I want this bad enough, and I do, I will find a way to survive this ordeal. It is only one more year. I will do the work I have to do. I will keep in shape. I will study. I will do all the things necessary to make this dream a success. I am concerned. This schedule I am on is killing me. That was why I went to the casino today and took the shot I did. The thought of what is ahead this year is overwhelming. You think life will cut you some slack, but it doesn't.
Listening to the Superbowl on ITunes Radio. As far as Superbowls go this sounds like a great game. I would have taken the Saints plus the points. I thought it might be close, but never thought the Saints could actually beat the Colts. At the two minute warning right now. I don't think Paton Manning can overcome a 14 point deficit; 31-17. The under looks to be golden. Will relax tonight. I don't have to clock in till 3:00 PM tomorrow. I'll make it.
February 5, 2010
I know this is insane, but this is how much information I have collected since I bought my first computer in 1996. This information exists largly in the format of .pdf, but is also composed of HTML:
35.2 GB
18,143 folders
169,902 files
A conservative estimate at the number of books I have in this digital archive is 10,000. I have mentioned that I will never have the time to master this knowledge, but I do have the time to create what I have termed a "superior neural network". At the risk of sounding vain (like that ever impede me) I am seeing the fruits of this labor.
February 2, 2010
Punxsutawney Phil, right, is held by Ben Hughes after emerging from his burrow on Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa., to see his shadow and forecast six more weeks of winter weather.
The rodent has spoken. It has not been a severe winter here in Southern Wisconsin. January passed without the week-long customary -30. The wind was tolerable. We had one huge snow storm. Since that dump, the snow accumulation has been negligible. I worked six days last week in order to get the two consecutive days off I am enjoying. It was well worth the effort. I am not socking the dough away at a pace I had anticipated, but the cash is piling up slowly. I will need it to further my career plans of educating myself with skill needed to work for myself. I went to Ho-Chunk Casino yesterday. I have not stepped into a casino in four years. I don't miss them. They haven't changed. You find people sitting around looking emotionally devastated at the realization they have spent the money earmarked for bills on spinning reels, rolling dice, and pictures of cards. That is about all the good there is in them. They aren't going to provide you with any opportunity to create wealth. You can win a little something if you are lucky. I did manage to weasel $300 out of the five dollar slots, but I got lucky. That money was added to my "change my life fund." I won't be spending it on anything. It would be nice to buy some new toys, but I just can't afford the luxury right now. I am seriously considering more shamanic work today. I have to check out my things to do list and make sure I am in a position where I won't have to deal with any distractions or trivial thoughts. When I enter this state, I have to be 100% committed and focused; otherwise I am wasting the opportunity to learn. Will brew some tea, cook some oatmeal, and think about what I will do today.
NOTE
Around 12 noon I ingested 20 grams of plant material. I could go 30, and might do so the next time around, but 20 grams is a good dose. I entered this state open minded, not expecting anything. This is the ticket. You can not make demands. You have to open your self to the information that is given without judging the content or the method of delivery. What information I am gathering is personal, and I could devote volumes to it, so I have to be content with brevity for now. I will tell you this; it isn't all sweetness and light. In some magickal circles what I am referring to is called shadow work. In Jungian alchemy, it is the nigredo.What the hell is this? It is the act of looking into the psychological abyss. When a man is thrust into the abyss, he has nothing looking back at him. At this moment, you know who you are. Is this experience pleasant? Fuck no. Is the delivery of this information joyous? No, it is sheer brutality. That is why the shaman has to have balls of steel. This is what is called the near death experience on a psychological level. The shaman is that special person who can look into the closet of his own subconscious and see what shit is in there. We all spend our lives hiding shit in that closet. We don't want people to know who we really are. They might not like us or accept us then. We consume products that promise us popularity. We speak the language of celebrity. We generally live in a sugar coated, plastic world that is politically correct and socially permitted by the vast majority. The shaman sees this for what it is; ignorance. I have experienced psychological agony during moments of my journey into this closet where I have been collecting the unpleasant experiences of my current life. I have rediscovered, to my horror, the secrets I had neatly tucked away for safe keeping far from the view of the prying public. That is why it is crucial to clear your mind and accept what ever may come. This alchemical experience is not for the weak. This is serious business. This experience is agony and ecstasy in all it's hideous beauty. The end result is the death of self ignorance, and the rebirth of a self actualized individual. This is the goal of nigredo. It is the secrets we hide that we fear the most, and it is those secrets that people use against us. If you have hidden them away for so long that you have even forgotten what it is you are hiding, you are vulnerable to psychic attack. Something to think about ... There is more, but as you can see, it requires volumes. I think I have given you enough information to chew on. If you are thinking about doing shadow work, or shamanic exploration, don't kid yourself into thinking it is all New Age bliss and light. If you think getting in touch with your inner self is all about discovering beauty, you better think twice. If that is all you see, you might want to extract your head from your ass and take another look.
