It has been customary for me to comment at the end of a month. This comment is more than just the end of the month babbling of an old fool. This is the end of 2010. This was my year. This year came only once and it was a year that comes only once in a lifetime. I didn't make the best of it. I didn't butcher it either. Financially it was a stellar year. Since I have never put a great deal of stock in wealth accumulation, this achievement isn't at the top of my list. I wanted to become a better person. As corny as that sounds, it's from the heart. I wanted to put myself on a path that would finally heal my tortured soul. I think in more ways than not the healing process has begun. I won't ever really heal. Time does not heal all wounds. But I am comfortable with who I am. And that is a foundation that makes everything else possible.
I shoot from the hip. I won't change. I know I am harsh, arrogant, and self righteous. The hardest I have ever been to anyone at anytime, in any square corner of the world I happened to be standing on, was myself. This is why I don't pull any punches with people. I have never pulled them with me.
Have a Great New Year. 2011 holds great potential for me financially. The body of knowledge I have chosen to master will take me the remainder of my life. It is a commitment. Commitment is something I have avoided. I didn't want to commit to a corporate value system. I didn't want to commit to political correctness. I never have, nor will I ever commit to being a member of the herd; I don't care how good the pay is. But I failed to understand a commitment has to be made, and that commitment is to yourself. It took me 55 years to figure that one out. I am a fool. I'm not a dumb fuck. A fool still understands his relationship with the Cosmos. The rest of humanity sits in front of a tube eating fat and grows stupid. I have no time for them. These are the poor saps that need to be lead out of the darkness. The trouble is, they like the dark. Who am I to disturb this tranquility? No one in my life has ever given a rat's ass about me. This isn't bitterness. It is a cold hard fact. This year I learned I wasn't alone.
December 25, 2010
One of the greatest, if not THE greatest Christmas story ever brought to the silver screen ...
KHAR, Pakistan - A burqa-clad female suicide bomber in Pakistan lobbed hand grenades, then detonated her explosive belt among a crowd at an aid center Saturday, killing at least 45 people.
I wish my fellow man peace, even if you are nothing more than a pile of manure; cattle at best. I believe that if one of us suffer, we all suffer. I don't shit on people. This is standard operating procedure in the New Financial World Order. It is acceptable to be a buffoon. It is encouraged. What do animals do? They crap in their own bed.
The economy is shot. Retirement is a death sentence. World history is on the brink of total global war. Insanity is running amok. Everyone is afraid. This is not a time of peace. It is a time of fear. Hatred is the manifestation. This is no excuse. If you think it is, you are weak and stupid. I hold to my higher calling despite the disgust I witness on a daily basis as the herd saunters past. The truth isn't pretty. If you don't like being called cattle, crawl out of the manure you live in. Put that on your New Year's Resolution list.
December 24, 2010
Christmas is tomorrow. There was a time when that meant something. People were filled with a holiday spirit. I'm not seeing it now. All I am seeing is ignorance. If "white trash" were a valuable commodity, the United States would be the most prosperous nation on the face of the Earth. This is what we have become; scum walking upright.
December 21, 2010
I left Las Vegas December 21, 2001 and I have never looked back. When I think of Vegas, I know brutality. Underneath the glitter lies treachery, deceit, and arrogance. These three qualities sum up the human psyche neatly. Without the veneer of civility to curb them, they are not only on display 24 hours a day, they are a way of life. Las Vegas is a cesspool. I have no fond memories of the 12 years I spent there. A pound of flesh was torn from me without warning, indication, or reason ... viva las vegas. The experience I had there has left me bitter. This isn't pretty but it is a fact.
Another ugly fact; this road I have walked these 55 years has been a lonely, painful trek. This may be true, but the knowledge I have gained and the insights I have discovered this past year has set me on a different course. Things are better now. I won't forget that.
December 18, 2010
Spirit, I fear you the most ...
I am currently testing the Safari browser. I have been using Firefox. Before that, I was using the Communicator (Netscape). I never have liked the Explorer. Now, Firefox is taking a dump. It is slow. It crashes. It stinks. I am taking a shine to Safari. It is fast. It's clean. It has a way of navigating that is new to me, but it isn't anything difficult. 90% of the bookmarks I have been using are still accessible in the Safari setup. I think I will keep using it and keep it as my default browser.
December 13, 2010
'Tis the Season. I have nothing to add to this.
December 12, 2010
This is a classic.
Dr. Strangeglove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
Got clobbered by a winter storm last night. Looks like this bitch stomped on balls it's entire track. The Metrodome collapsed in MPLS. Stoughton got about six-eight inches. Had to dig the van out early this morning and park it to the other side of the street. A bitter blast of artic air is right behind. The wind chills will drop to -35. This bitter cold will be all over us like stink on shit for the next 3-4 days.
December 6, 2010
Talk doesn't cook the rice."
These are words I need to live by. I have complained for years that I need to change my situation on a number of different levels. The years roll by and little to no change occurs. This year has been different. I have made strides towards positive change. I need to keep moving forward. I can not afford to stagnate.
I will start reading my list of books on object oriented programming, Smalltalk, and Powershell. These books contain the knowledge I seek. These books are the grimoires of the current age. The ability to manipulate and control the universe is the domain of the magician. This manipulation is done by sign, symbol, and the configurations thereof. The ancient magicians understood this. They collected knowledge and wrote it down in special books. These books are referred to as grimoires. Grimoires contain formulas, incantations, and sigils that are designed to help the practitioner and student of magick in many ways: from evocations to spells to deep insights into the workings of the universe. Grimoires mean access to power. Through sign and symbol, I will learn to control the universe known as cyberspace. This covers training my mind. I also have to train my body and my spirit. The hard reality is this; there isn't enough time. I have to do the best I am capable of. I am doing more than most. I do take solace in this.
Winter is here. It is currently 15 degrees. It isn't bad really. As long as the wind isn't howling up your ass it is bearable. I like the crisp air. You know you are alive.
December 3, 2010
I have made killer money since July. The work is debilitating, but I have something to show for it. There just isn't anyway to get around it. You have to balance living in this civilized asylum. I have paid off $4000 of my silver purcahse. I have $500 left to pay. I am up $2200 on this investment. If I can hang in for one more year at the store, it will be possible for me to seize more control of how I will be living the rest of my life. Finances are power. I may not agree but I am not a fool either. To some degree I have to keep accumulating shit to live well.
My LHP research has led me to cyberspace. I never intended it to lead me to evil. I intended it to lead me to knowledge. I desired the ability to master my own fate. I believe I am toddling along. I may be stumbling, but I'm on The Path. I need to keep this in mind when I start whipping myself for perceived infractions. I have come far this year. I won't deny myself that acknowledgment. I knew this year was pivotal. I acted on it.
