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December 31, 2007

Tried installing Word Press. I know I installed the program correctly into my hosting database, but I can not access it online. Support on how to use this thing is limited. I think I may just continue with the style I have always used. I'm not doing this to promote a business, have Google Ad Words on it, or any other profit motivated reasons. I am writing this for the sheer joy of saying what I think, and for the research I do to find documents that I present. I know that this Blog isn't popular. I don't have a following. But, my stuff does end up on the Internet here and there by means I never planed on, so I will continue with Time To Blog! I promised myself 2008 would be a better year physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and intellectually. This is a substantial leap forward. I didn't get out of bed till 11:30 AM today. I don't have to work, and I just didn't want to get up and face the world. This isn't the kind of perspective that will accomplish the goals I have set for myself. I am up now, and I will gird my loins for the task that lays before me. Today I plan on relaxing. I will read, and watch some TV later tonight. Tomorrow, I crawl into the rejuvenation cocoon and I will emerge a new man 365 days from now. That is the time frame I am giving myself. Come December 31, 2008 I will be financially sound, self sufficient (to a large degree), able to play the bass guitar, and able to create music using MadTracker. Through these accomplishments, I will increase my knowledge. My understanding of the Hermetic will be great. I will prosper. I will wear my belt again. One year isn't a lifetime, but one year of dedication will enable me to have the Life I have always desired. I am an Island. I turn my back on the past. I will be reborn. I walk alone. I will find a mate to walk with me if they so desire. I refuse to follow anyone, any where at any time. I am the Master. I am not a fool even if I have behaved like one. I have made some serious mistakes. It isn't too late to rectify the situation I find myself in. That is what great men do. The bottom line is this ... 2008 is a quest to defeat the demons that have controlled me my entire life. I have subdued them in the past, not have never conqured them. Victory is mine. Failure is not an option. EGO Sum Vinco of Meus Fatum


December 30, 2007

Having a "bad neck day." I don't know what causes it, but the pain is debilitating. I can't think, move or function. Days like this are unproductive. I take two aspirin and stand in a hot shower. When I had a tub, I'd soak for hours and wait till the aspirin kicked in. Today, they never did. After three hot showers and six aspirin, I am still in pain. I am going to get dressed and walk up to the Kwik Trip store. Maybe a walk and fresh air will help. The Badger 5 drawing is $133,000 plus tonight. I have played this thing the last two nights, so I am committed to see it through to completion of a winner. That could be me. I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, and an apartment to straighten out. I want to practice my bass. It isn't going to be. My mind/body is telling me it needs Yoga. Tomorrow I get the paper work rolling on my bankruptcy case. This has to be completed, and soon.

Just got back from Kwik Trip. The brisk walk did some good. I feel much better. The neck is stiff, but I can function. if I am going to accomplish the goals I have set for 2008, pain is a given. The sacrifices made this coming year will be worth every excruciating moment. I have downloaded all 19 of T. Lobsang Rampa's books. I will most definetly read his first, and most famous book, The Third Eye. The first three are an autobiographical trilogy. I have so many books and documents, I find myself entangled in the 10,000 things. That is why I keep stressing the point I need to focus on ONE thing. The documentation I have on music is staggering as it is. I have the rest of my life to dedicate to them. In the process, I will achieve joy, health, and prosperity. Thee first two are the true treasures' prosperity is a byproduct.


December 29, 2007

Here is an amazing collection of books FREE to download. Have a Great New Year!



December 26, 2007

This short, factual news byte was in the paper I was reading this morning:
On December 26, 1966
6 year old JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Bolder Colorado.
The slaying is unsolved.
This long ( and sometimes rambling ) article I found explains why this murder is unsolved. Take it with a grain of salt.
There are excellent points made.
JonBenet Ramsey Murder: Satanic Ritual Sacrifice

The reason I am making this available is because it clearly states circumstances I have alluded to in some earlier writings; the existence of pedophile rings operating in this country, and the motivations for doing so.


December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas! Here is a present from Santa Claus.
This is an interesting spin on how a standard deck of playing cards could be interpreted.

The Cross of Cards

by Alan Watts

I'm sitting here in my pajamas. I will most likely get dressed, and venture outside. I can't drive anywhere without putting myself at risk of having my driver's license suspended, so I will be walking. Serves me right. I am happy that this bone head situation is almost behind me. One last task ahead to get my life back; declare bankruptcy. I HAVE to get the paper work rolling because I stopped paying Chase Bank. I bit off more than I could chew. It happens. The laws are here to protect me and for me to utilize. That's the way it is, and I am going to take full advantage of the present legal climate. This DUI was the straw that broke the camel's back. It broke it financially. It broke the stupor that had permeated my mind. It broke procrastination to start climbing again. Maybe things do happen for a reason. I wonder if I wasn't just trying to sabotage myself. Is this what I really needed? Do I hate myself that much! What remains to be answered is this. Where do I go from here? I go into the cocoon. When I emerge, I will be who I am supposed to be. My will be done.

The tasks that lay ahead of me are formidable. I stopped climbing the mountain a long time ago, and that is why I fell from grace. I am responsible for the life I am living. The power to change the wrongs are mine, and mine alone.

Just got back from a walk to Kwik Trip. Bought some milk to make protein shakes. I put some chicken on the stove and will have a meager Christmas meal. People around the world are eating less, so I am grateful for what I have. 2008 is indeed going to be a bitch. I am reading something everyday. This will continue. I will study music, yoga, and pursue my moving meditation. I will write. I will play the bass guitar. I will play my keyboards. Come 2008, the TV goes off. I will get up at 6:30 AM and work three hours before work. When I get home from earning the paycheck, I will write for at least one hour before retiring to bed. This is the routine. This is the only way to go. One Year, and I will be the Master of all I survey. Crazy? Not by a long shot. I give myself one year to transform myself once and for all! No more fucking around, or associating with nightclub scum/whores/parasites. The remainder of 2007 is a transistional period. I need to crawl first, stand upright, and then begin walking the Path. Sad to think my Mind, Body, and Spirit has degenerated so badly, but it has. Fuck, what did I do? Better to recognize the errors of your way before Death comes a knocking at your doorstep. This is where I am. I see it, and I will not fear what I see. This is the first step.

Here is a free book for you to download. May the new year bring you health, joy, and prosperity.


Free download. PDF Version. 3.7 mb.

In his book, The Musharraf Factor, Abid Ullah Jan convincingly demonstrates that Musharraf is merely one in a long series of corrupt leaders who have ruled Pakistan during its 58-year history. The very reason of Pakistan's existence - to establish a state based on the principles of Islam- is falling apart and was, in fact, never really taken seriously by its leaders despite all their high sounding speeches. In the words of Shahid Javed Burki of the World Bank and former Finance Minister of Pakistan, Pakistan `is in danger of losing Jinnah's legacy.' This book thoroughly outlines how Pakistan's demise is imminent and how both internal and external factors have played a part in this process. Solidly researched, The Musharraf Factor is essential reading for those following political developments in South Asia.

-Yahya Abdul Rehman Editor MONTREAL MUSLIM NEWS"





December 24, 2007

Was reading an article today that concerns Chuck Norris. He is suing publisher Penguin over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him. Norris contends that some of the "facts" in the book are racist, lewd or portray him as engaged in illegal activities. I went to the site mentioned in the article and looked at what it had to say. Take a look for yourself if you so desire. Chuck Norris Bogus Facts

I agree with him. The fact that Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard ... he has another fist is humorous. These facts from the book in question are crude, demeaning, and just plain stupid:

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism. The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.
They make him sound like a sex crazed psychopath, and a racist. It is clear that the authors did use his tough guy image to line their pockets with money. Chuck Norris is a decent guy who made a difference in his life. This low life journalism is bullshit.


December 23, 2007

In order to extricate my head from my ass, I will have to commit to the following set of conditions. I have to stay home when not earning a paycheck. This time will be spent on re-inventing/healing myself. I am such a freaking mess, it is going to take a year to finally put an end to this insanity. I will not be socializing. I won't be watching TV. I have skills to master and through these skills, I will create a LIFE. Is that too much to expect? I know what must be done. I know how to accomplish the tasks required. That is all there is to it. All Blog entries for 2008 will focus on accomplishments. No more scrambling for answers, no complaints, no more depressing bullshit. I remember studying for my Series 7 back in 1987. I studies 10 hours a day, seven days a week for thirty straight days. To put it in a different perspective - MAGIC. I know more than I have given myself credit for. No more casting pearls. It's time for cloister. When I emerge, I will be whole, finally. I am not ready to cast off this mortal coil. I embrace my Luciferian destiny. My occult studies all point to this philosophy. I have written this before - Lucifer has gotten a bad rap (mostly from the Catholic Church; what does that tell you?) I refuse to deny myself what is rightfully mine. The only thing left to accomplish is to defeat my own Fear. This is what lies at the heart of what I must do. Once completed, health, knowledge, and financial prosperity are mine. For those of you squeamish about the use of the word Luciferian, the following paragraph puts it all in a nice little nutshell:
Luciferianism is the embodiment of knowledge and power that acknowledges the Principle of Lucifer as the "Light of Consciousness." Be it as a god or as a principle, Lucifer has transcended many cultures as the "Bearer of Light;" the Light which illuminates the consciousness of sapient beings and heightens the senses and awareness to experience Higher Levels of Being. Luciferianism is the path of Self Mastery, Self-Attainment, and the Illumination of the Higher Self. A Luciferian is a profound and diligent searcher into the natural and preternatural science of consciousness; they, because of their skill, shall know how to anticipate such effects, which to the vulgar shall seem to be a miracle. The Luciferic Principles of Illumination, are the means by which we may arrive at the understanding of the Secret Works of the Intellect in all things. Human consciousness continues to evolve, there are those who seek to ascend it to higher states and those who seek to inhibit it. There exist a new mind evolving from within our own, it is this new consciousness that will advance our race beyond the Homo Sapien, into what may become the Homo Divinus.
In other words, no more fucking around.

A winter storm in brewing, and it is positively nasty outside. No forecast snow has fallen. Just cold and gusty winds for the time being. Went to the little coffee shop a few blocks from my apartment for breakfast this morning. The service was a disaster. I don't intend on returning.


December 22, 2007

I was the only person in the courtroom wearing dress slack, a suit coat, or a white shirt. The rest were decked out in baggy jeans, sweatshirts, chains, and baseball caps. Not that it made any difference in the fines levied. The judge's hands were tied when it came to that matter because of my DWI. I plead no contest, paid the $730 fine, and got my occupational driver's license. I am able to drive restricted hours and locations to get to work, and take care of my household needs. This restriction is for seven months. After that, I will get my regular driving privileges back. My last hurdle is going to an alcohol councilor on January 28, 2008. Will have to wait and see what will be required of me after I am evaluated. I may have to go to a number of meetings. More money spent wasted. This has to be the most humiliating experience of my life; getting tossed in the can, and having my basic freedoms taken from me. I am responsible for it, and I have to bite the bullet. This will pass. If any good has come from this, I fully realize that I MUST pursue the Path. It is imperative I become self sufficient, and create a life I have control over. If I don't, I am no better than the maggots and the scum I saw in jail and in the courtroom.

Was reading an article about Ike Turner's funeral. Seems Phil Spector, famous record producer and psychopath murderer spoke. The jest of it was:
Ike was thrown in jail for being a black man in America. Ike could play circles around Eric Clapton. Ike made Tina the jewel she was. Whoopi Goldberg stabbed him in the back when she invited him to her show. Oprah Winfrey made Tina Turner's book into a bestseller, which demonized and vilified Ike. The book wouldn't have sold 10 copies. It was badly written. It was a piece of trash and because Oprah idolized Tina, she didn't feel it wrong to vilify a brother.
Water seeks it's own level Phil. I got news for you. You aren't black. You aren't being vilivied. You killed someone, and you haven't got the balls to take responsibility for it. You hide behind your fame and your cash. Without Les Paul, you'd be nothing.


December 20, 2007

I bring this to your attention because I have NOT read anything about it in the mainstream newspapers, or seen any story of this on the mainstream nightly news programs. All I can say is that the evidence of mass manipulation of the news media, both print and televised, is with out question a conspiracy to keep the American people in the dark as to the true nature of the Neo-conservative agenda. I know I have decided personally to let this subject be, but I have to stay vigilant. That is my patriotic duty. Please read the following document. Click on RESOLUTION:

HRES 799 IH

110th CONGRESS

1st Session

H. RES. 799

Impeaching Richard B. Cheney, Vice President of the United States, of high crimes and misdemeanors.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

November 6, 2007

Mr. KUCINICH submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on the Judiciary

RESOLUTION


What the hell ... check this out too.
Police State America


December 19, 2007

I have decided against joining B.O.T.A. I already process the curriculum they want to charge me $15 a month for. I don't think having another card in my wallet is going to substantially change my life. The only materials I don't have are those dealing with the Tarot. From what I have gathered, this material is exceptional, but can be purchased from Amazon bookstore if I choose to acquire it. After several years, "secret" knowledge is to be revealed to those students who have shown diligence in their study. With all the occult materials I have collected, I believe I have the tools to uncover that knowledge I don't already physically possess. And, I am hesitant about joining a group that I know little about, who promise enlightenment, and potentially could be trying to brainwash people. I am the Master of my own Destiny. I am guilty of being lazy. I am guilty of procrastination. I have failed to commit to the great task. I am a coward and a fool. By working on the goals I have set forth for 2008, and beyond, I will exorcise these demons. I will never rest till this is completed. If I fail I will die with no self respect. I will die having lived a wasted life.


December 18, 2007

This story is hilarious and pathetic. Getting arrested for drunken driving was bad, but I would prefer this to what this poor slob got caught doing. From the Wisconsin Journal:
Jeremy Scott Pope, 25, of Arena was arrested Saturday on suspicion of lewd and lascivious behavior and criminal damage to property after he allegedly urinated on bras and underwear hanging on a rack at ShopKo, 7401 Mineral Point Road, according to police. The incident occurred about 4 PM and was captured by he store's surveillance equipment, Madison police said. Store security staff detained Pope until police arrived. Property damage was estimated at $300.
I stand before the judge Thursday. I'm not looking forward to this, but the sooner I put this horrible mistake behind me the better. My car insurance has doubled, and I will have to pay it for three years. I really fucked up. I will make the best of this. I realize that as bad as I thought things were in my life, they could be a hell of a lot worse. I have given this a lot of thought, and consideration. I believe it is possible for me to still achieve what it is I think I must, despite this personal and financial setback.

These are my goals for 2008:
1. I will be able to play the bass guitar.
    I will compose music with Madtracker
    I dedicate myself to music.
2. I will write. I won't rest till I become published.
3. I will dedicate myself to the pursuit of knowledge.
4. I will achieve a level of physical fitness worthy of my black belt status.

This what I want to do with the rest of my life. Working for others, and working with morons is not my Destiny. I will become self sufficient. A lottery miracle would help, but it isn't necessary. This is the most difficult challenge I have faced. Failure is not an option.


December 16, 2007

This has been the slowest month of blogging experienced since I began writing three years ago. This result is from getting my ass handed to me courtesy of my personal demons getting the upper hand. I let them. I blame no one but myself for this incredibly ridiculous situation I find myself in. I have to stand before the judge December 20, and tell him/her and the world what a moron I am. The only good thing that has come of this is I didn't kill anyone in the process. If I had, I would be going to jail for a long time. If that had happened, my life would be over. As it stands, I still have a shot at making something of it. There has been numerous news stories I haven't commented on that I have followed for a number of years. I just didn't have the drive. I think the shock at realizing I am 52 years old, living on the edge of poverty, having never found true joy to sustain the drudgery of everyday living affected me in a positive way. I know the years behind me probably outweigh the ones in front. I have to put the past behind me once and for all. I can't change what has happened. I can't undo the mistakes and the poor choices made. At this point all I can do is finish the race knowing I made an honest effort to CREATE SOMETHING of value. I can't please anyone. I don't care about others and what they want from me. Humanity is parasitical in nature, sucking the energies from others to sustain their own personal agendas and existences. I despise the ignorance and the callous nature of this dark side of the human psych. We are capable of so much more. I was reading this article on bass guitar. The dude was saying you have to make the bass your life. That is the key to anything you choose to do. It becomes you. You make a commitment to something because it sustains you, gives you purpose, and joy. This is the key to LIFE. I never had guidance on any of these things. My quest to become is in earnest. No more fucking around. No more whining.

I am also looking into joining Builders of the Adytum (B.O.T.A.) There is power in numbers. I don't fancy the idea of joining a cult. I do not believe they are. The closet thing to a cult situation I found myself in was the karate academy I belonged to. I was damaged physically, and emotionally from this experience. I never have talked about it much. But, perhaps it is time to heal these wounds. I can see this damaging experience has affected my life, and I need to repair it so I can move forward. I know what to do, and have known for some time. I just haven't done the work. I guess this is what happens when you are considering suicide. Killing myself has been in the back of my mind for a very long time. DEATH will come soon enough. In the meantime, I choose LIFE.


December 10, 2007
The student, if he attains any success in the following practices, will find himself confronted (ideas or beings) too glorious or dreadful to be described. It is essential he remains the master of all he beholds, hears, or conceives; otherwise he will be the slave and the prey of madness.
Aleister Crowley
Liber O vel Manus et Sagittae


December 9, 2007

Time to get back to the business of living. The longer I wait, the more probable I will end up a walking corpse, wandering aimlessly in the darkness that engulfs my Soul. I am lost. This is something to build on. I have a lot of garbage to take out, and get my house in order. Time to make the commitment that I have avoided making. It is time to recognize Death, and the sanctity of Time. This brief life will be over in a few more winks. I can create SOMETHING, or sit here in my current funk. Either way, the end results are the same. How I meet this end is the only thing I have control over. The politicians and overlords control the rest.


December 5, 2007

There is plenty of wiggle room in the following National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's intentions to build a nuclear bomb; worth reading.


National Intelligence Estimate Key Judgments
Iran: Nuclear Intentions and Capabilities
December 2007



December 4, 2007


Rest In Peace Frank
December 21, 1940 – December 4, 1993

I am reluctant to sit here and continue writing about the world as I see it considering I am weak, ignorant, and lost. Should that stop me? My gut says no. I can rise above my mistakes. Things happen for reasons. I know this; since my arrest last week for Driving Under the Influence, I realize just how far I have sunk into the depths of depression. I have wandered through life these past 15 years without focus or purpose. I have no joy in my life. I went to work, did my job, and basically rot a little each and every day waiting for Death to rescue me from the torment. What the hell was I doing? I always had grand plans, but have been unable to implement them. I know what I have to do. Music can bring joy back into my lifeless existence. Writing can give me purpose. Martial Arts can strengthen my Spirit. If I stay true to this Path, I will find my way. I can create the life I want to live. My Destiny lays before me. It doesn't have to be destructive. That is up to me. Frank Zappa was a great man. His entire life was dedicated to his music. Through this work, he was able to send a social message. He is the sort of individual that I respect and admire. I can no longer live in the past. What is done is done. I have wavered, but can finish strong. If I can do this, I might be able to rest in peace when my time comes. I think Frank Zappa is. He earned it.





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