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August 29, 2011
Death continues to rain from the skies. I kick myself in the ass for not having corporate skills. There is a reason. When I was a boy, I believed this economic bullshit was insane and I didn't want to be a part of it. I didn't want to be controlled. I still don't. Because of this belief, I thought I never belonged in this time, and this space to begin with. That is the key to the real problem. I have always been a voice of reason. When everyone else is going berserk I kept my eye on the kettle. Is this why I am here. To watch with clarity as the human race once again cycles through the eons of birth and rebirth? I'm leaning towards a comet. I heard on a podcast there have been more sightings of objects near the sun. There are also reports of more comets or asteroids heading our way. If there is mercy, I pray it is quick.
Nonetheless, I have plans for this winter season. I will hole up. All I have to do is move my car back and forth across the street so I don't get a ticket. I have to get rid of the van. It started up the other day. The rest is junk, but that motor is fine. I have to live each day with the notion that a good day today is sacred. Still no word on my unemployment claim.
August 24, 2011
I know who I am. As vain as that is, it's true. Vanity doesn't fit into the equation anyway. I know I am a son of a bitch. I know I am arrogant. These fine qualities didn't figure into the analysis. The time to gather here is finished. I will continue to gather because that is what I do. But on this issue as to who the fuck I am, it's time to walk away.
I have decided to hole up here at this present location for at least six months. Lay low for the winter and put the final touches on Stonne Inc.
I am feeling confident. We are talking long winter hours hitting the Iron Gym. Long days stretching. Long days and nights polishing PowerShell.
It doesn't get any better. This time I have taken is what I needed to finally summon the will to pull my head out of my ass. Now that it is out, I can see with more clarity. That is why I can say I know who I am. Will I shove it back? I can't let this happen. That is what was done in the past. I think there had to have been times that I had my head out and about a few times. As sad as it is, I don't think I did. I have been down a very deep and perverse rabbit hole; rat hole is more like it. This long struggle I have had just to get some freaking bearings has been nothing more than this. What's important is I have made it to this crossroad.
So, I will sign a lease for six months. I put the final touches on Stonne Inc. Nothing to it. I will make a YouTube video, but I won't be chronicling anything. I can never see myself working for someone else. I have to be independent as is possible. That was always another way out I looked for. I would look to others. I tried to learn from others. It is the same trap. You are dependant. Come Spring, I will gather students. This is what lies ahead. I am grateful. I do not take this opportunity lightly. I am tired of running. This may be the time to get a grant in motion. As for August, I am not concerned with the above. I want to lay back and enjoy the weather. I want to watch some video and listen to podcasts. My gut isn't the best today, but I don't have to fix it today. Things are good.
August 22, 2011
I have fat growing on my abdominal muscles, again. The battle continues. I may head out tonight.
Nothing going on at the old watering hole. I will head back to Club Inferno the first Saturday in September. That seems to be the only action the place gets anymore. I took this week off. I didn't hit the books. I didn't want to feel like I had to do something. This was good time. Now, it's back to a tight regimen. I like it that way. I get things done. I am happier. My attitude has changed. If I see something I want, I am going to take it.
No word on my claim. I can not sit idly by and wait to see how this fiasco turns out. The reason it is grinding on me is my lease for the apartment is up at the end of August. I have come to a conclusion. I will hole up here right where I am for the next six months. I will arrange something with the landlord. I think I can swing the same rent payments on a six month lease that I do with a full year. I have been a good client. This claim nonsense will be straightened out by then and I can sit tight for the winter. I can pay my bills for the next six months with income or not. Everything will work out. I will ensure it.
August 17, 2011
My divorce papers arrived in my Las Vegas mailbox 21 years ago today. I've never been the same.
Looks like I won't be working any kicks today. I need one day in between to heal. I really am in bad shape; my standards. I am looking forward to tomorrow's training. I want to kick. The August weather has been nothing short of spectacular. The early morning is something to enjoy. I have given so much time away to parasites. I have wasted just as much on my own accord. It is a wonder I have found time to accomplish anything.
The next 25 years have to be one of independence. IT is no longer a golden haven. Heads are rolling. Big heads are dropping along side the trench workers. You can not put your faith in an outside force. Dr. Tobias Weltner knew which way the wind was blowing. He went rouge a long time ago and made a fortune in the process. Jeff Hicks and Don Jones went the same path after they left Sapien Technologies. There is no doubt. This is the last opportunity I have to set things right. I have no one to blame but myself. Yes, circumstances will change. That is why I walked out of the grocery store. There isn't much time left to begin with. Life as I knew it is a pale imitation. My personal life is showing signs of improvement.
August 16, 2011
If I were to walk into an unfortunate combat situation, my ass might be cooked. My cardiovascular needs work, big time. I did some side to side work today moving along with stick in hand. I was perspiring heavily. It was pathetic. I said this yesterday, I have 25 years ahead of me. I will have to rely on all of my skills and services to live a life I am happy with. Tomorrow I work some kicks and continue with my PowerShell book. I put Bruce Payette to the side, again. I am compelled to read this other book first. It will give me the edge I am still missing.
August 15, 2011
Not a great deal going on in the country that points to any positive direction. The President will be on a three day tour of the mid-West promoting job creation. His approval rate is bad. I do not think his trip will be welcomed with open arms here. If they have to stage this show with a throng of well placed cheering supporters, it will still play well on the TV. In the meanwhile, I am cleaning my soul. It stinks. I wonder how the hell I have put up with this weak sack of shit, but I am the blame. I am supposed to be leading. I am not. That is why I am taking these steps. I have the next 25 years ahead of me.
August 13, 2011
If you look closely, you can see that all of the five "Golden Numbers" has hit a payoff of $10. I'm not complaining. In fact, if you look real close, you see there are two 12's in the first row of numbers. I didn't think that was possible, but there you have it. If you noticed, there is one small place on the card covered. I do have a dollar bill symbol above what ever the amount is. Sweet card; all five winning numbers and an instant payout to boot. That payout could be worth thousand's. I'm almost afraid to look. If it is $10, I'll take it and call it a good day. Here is the instant number revealed ...
Hard to believe there wasn't a significant amount for the instant winner. I won money on this ticket evey single way possible and it doesn't even break the $100 mark. I'll be honest, I am disappointed.
August 9, 2011
Last day of year 55. Was it a good year?
Yes. Did things turn out as planned? Do they ever?
I was wondering what ever happened to the two trillion business got from TARP? They didn't want to invest the money at the present time it was given because they didn't feel the economy had recovered sufficently; business wasn't hiring or expanding. I think the idea was to get people back to work and back to spending money. Now there are 25 million unemployed people and 40 million others are living on food stamps. I may well be one of them in the near future. I have no job, no income. I am sure I am qualified.
People talk about what America needs to do in order to get our financial feet back under us. I have a suggestion. Clean house. Start with JP Morgan. This silver shortage paper scam nonsense needs to end. I agree with Webster G. Tarpley on this one. Wall Street, once looked up to as a bastion of America pride and values has degenerated into a den of thieves. Goldman Sachs exceeded beyond their fiduciary responsibilities. This putting it mildly. They sold people shit at exorbitant prices and bought derivatives to rake in when this shit got flushed town the toilet. It was a set up operation plain and simple; churn them and burn them. Laws were trampled on from the NASD to RICO. They have not been charged with a single crime that I am aware of and I do not think anyone from Goldman Sachs will be. Again, does it really matter now? Yes, it does. Are things going to get fixed? No. I may not be able to pay my rent in six months from now. I need income. There isn't squat for jobs. Not even in Madison. I most likely will end up relying on some form of State or Federal welfare. If the unemployment claim is approved I still might be qualified to get food stamps. If I can, I'd be crazy not to.
August 8, 2011
The Dow Jones Industrial Average has plunged 1146 points since August 6, 2011; 512 Friday and 634 today. I refuse to have my comments and or rants disintegrate into a tirade on survival in the coming social break down; which will follow the impending financial hammer beating on us as I write. I will say this. The idea of training again is more than just a pleasant afterthought. I feel more than compelled to train again. I want to because I love it. I gave up doing the things I love far too long ago and I don't honestly know if I have gotten it right since.
I see people rotating in and out of the two Kwik Trips in town. I do not relish the thought of working for them. I understand the working conditions can be hostile. I just left a similar situation and am not prone to dive in again so quickly. I have to continue with my computer skill upgrades. This last brain storm I had on what I can do with PowerShell hit pay dirt. My birthday is Wednesday August 10, 2011. I will be 56. The year is over. Did it pan out as being a turning point in your life? Yes. My gut instinct was correct. It's reassuring. It doesn't stop the pain.
August 6, 2011
The S&P downgrade of the United States from AAA to AA+ gets to the heart of the current crisis. The drama circus created by the fools we have elected to puplic office has brought shame and disgrace to this country. United States of America
Long-Term Rating Lowered To 'AA+'
Outlook Negative On Political Risks And Rising Debt.
Looking at the early news coming out of Asia. China is giving the Administration a tongue lashing. Little good that will do, but it made the global news wires. I read and hear reports that the rating agencies are in bed with the Illuminati aka Rockefeller and family. Who gives a rat's ass now? Everything is in a shambles. The more I listen to people like Joseph Farrell and Richard Hogland, the more plausible the argument that Nazi technology was indeed smuggled into the US and this technology has been ongoing further development under the cover of NASA since the end of WWII. I said this before. It makes no sense to environmentally trash this planet. It makes no sense to deliberately destroy a global economy. The only explanation is that a separate agenda is in place and there must lie a means to leave the atrocities behind. We all know what these atrocities entail; rape, murder, physical and psychological torture, starvation, etc. on a global scale. Some argue the length of time this systematic and calculated agenda has been in place. Few argue it exists.
I will say this, I have been in better places. Wednesday August 10, 2011 is my 56th birthday. I am going out tonight and celebrate. I will watch my back.
August 5, 2011
If there were any doubts, I am facing a survival situation once again. I was pondering on those lean years of the past where I had no job, no money, and no prospects of a future. I have better skills now. I have learned a great deal. Will this make the blow any milder? It may. I have plans now. I didn't have them in the past. The thoughts of those past days are not pleasant. They are brutal. I can not let myself slide into the gutter again. The news is dire. The revelation that the USA is circling the drain, and has been since the TARP raid, has become impossible to hide any longer. I told my friends in Vegas in 2000, "enjoy life now because we have 12 years left to smell the roses". They all thought me a fool and they reacted as fools do; they stabbed me in the back. I digress.
Why should I panic now? I was going to leave my pitiful job by the end of August. The fact I was forced out is a separate issue. I was prepared to roll the dice. I took this time off so I can enjoy what little time there is left. Of this fact I am certain. I do not enter this phase of life lightly. The potential is great. I direct it. I am not counting on the unemployment claim still being decided. The money would put me over the top and this discussion of landing back into the gutter would be mute. I can not count on it, but the present uncertainty of this claim is weighing heavy.
August 4, 2011
I let July melt into a haze. I needed the space. There is always the possibility of turning into mush.
I have been following BitCoin. Interesting. It reminds me of the old surf for cash industry. The premise is different. It's honest. The technology is cutting edge. The exchange industry surrounding bitcoin was the exact model surrounding surf for cash. Bottom line, they disappear into the night.
This MyBitCoin fiasco has the same old fingerprints. I bought 13 bitcoin for $200. I presently have 15 bitcoin worth $166. This money is for entertainment purposes. It's a geek thing, and I like that end of it. I am surprised that Bruce Wagner of The Bitcoin Show had 25,000 on account at MyBitCoin. They are gone. This explains the sudden plunge of the price of bitcoin listed at TradeHill. Bruce Wagner is better off than I am. He still has a job. His standard of living most certainly took one to the shorts, but he will recover. I have my doubts as to what will become of me. I can't with an honest conscience toss this carcass to the snow bank.
August 1, 2011
I have been working on other projects, so Time To Blog! has suffered. This is and still is my baby. The level of chaos has reached a crescendo that has forced me to see my stark life even more so. Even though I wrote about the unfolding financial debacle these past years, I still didn't believe I would see it. I was living in denial to a degree. In order for me to survive, I have to let this pipe dream go in a puff of smoke. I am going back to my Powershell study. Language is my skill. I always say I don't process or ever have processed any real skill. I do.
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