Time to Blog!
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April 30, 2005
I was reading the news this morning, like I normally do each day, and was shocked to realize this was the day South Vietnam fell. The day was April 30, 1975. I remember it well, sitting in front of the TV set watching the kaos. My dratft card was in my back pocket. The card had a designation of 1-H, meaning I was in a holding position. I could have been drafted, but it wasn't going to happen. Still, sitting there at the ripe draft age of 19 was an uneasy feeling.
Armed marines were standing gaurd at the Embassy. The only means of escape was a narrow staircase leading to the roof of the Embassy Building where a single helicopter could land and pick up 20 people, maximum. Below were 1000's of people screaming, crying, carrying suitcases. Some people had small farm animals in their arms. They stood there for two days, waiting to get out before the Vietcong arrived. Men and women both young and old, many craddling small children and babies wept. The reality of what was happening had struck home.
Many were employees of the CIA. They had served above and beyond the call of duty, only to be left behind as the victorious forces swiftly rolled down Highway One into Saigon. There wasn't anything that could be done for them.
Now, 30 years later, we are again embroiled in conflict. Again we find ourselves trying to stop an ideology in conflict with our own using military might. For 25 years, we fought agains those ideas with massive bombing attacks, agent orange, and napalm. We lost that war. I pray we have better results in Iraq. But history has taught us a valuable lesson, a lesson that politicians refuse to recognize. Those who fail to learn from history are damned to repeating it. But, as I have said before, history is unfolding as it has been designed.
Today is also the 60th anniversary of Adolf Hitler's suicide in the Bunker.
On a lighter note:
So you thought you were having a bad day?
How about something yummy?
April 29, 2005
I remember this scene like it was yesterday. I was 9 years old, sitting in front of the TV. And then it happened. Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald right there, point black, in front of the world. This was the first time a murder had been captured by live television. I remember hearing Oswald moan. It was unbelievable.
Times were different then. People were still innocent in most ways. When I rode my bike to school, I parked it out at the main bike rack. When school was over, the bike was still there. We didn't chain them up. At night, I parked my bike out on the front lawn unlocked. We didn't lock the car. We did locked the front door of the house, but the side door was open.
TV was a place we went to escape the realities of day to day living. Now, Reality is TV. People talk about the Kennedy years as a "Camelot". The 1960 musical, Camelot, was loosely based on the King Arthur legend as adapted from the T.H. White novel The Once and Future King. The main thrust of the novel and the play is the illicit romance between Arthur's wife, Guinevere, and his great friend, Sir Lancelot. Notable songs include:
"If Ever I Would Leave You" "The Lusty Month of May" "How to Handle a Woman"
It was a time of wonder, such as the times of King Arthur were with his Knights of the Round Table. Government was noble. Intentions were honorable. Maidens were pure. Such were the times in the early 1960's.
The Kennedy assasination changed all that. The nail in the coffin was the killing of Lee Harvey Oswald, and the Warren Commission's cover up. Those times will never be again. Elections are rigged now. People kill at will for what ever reason. Human life is cheap. Souls are readily available for sale on the open market. You want to make a pact with Satan? Get in line and bring a pillow with you.
I miss those days. I know you can't ever go home again. I knew that when I came back to Wisconsin. I had hoped my family had grown. Sadly, they are crazier than ever. It painful to see, but it doesn't surprise me. It take moral character and a will to change to reinvent yourself from being a madman to being a normal person. My family hasn't either the character, nor the will to change. They are lost in a maze of self hatred.
I fear that is where we are now. If someone is getting knifed in the back, a line will form to get a piece of the action. It doesn't matter if you know the person or not. People are concerned with trading up; relationships are shallow and too time consuming. Dreams of building wealth are gone. If you don't win the lottery, you won't have anything in the bank when you retire. You will work, and continue working until the day you drop dead, which the Government hopes is two weeks before you start collecting Social Security.
Enjoy the sunsets, and smell the roses. The days of Camelot are gone forever. They have seen to that.
The only choice you have is to Keep Smiling!
April 27, 2005
Just got back from the grocery store. I have a ton of food in the house. Having a kitchen again is a blessing. I've forgotton how nice it is to have a fridge and cupboards stocked with goddies. I even bought healthy stuff to eat. I'm cooking a steak, but that's my treat. I'll stick to the fruits and vegetable this next week.
Things are looking much better on the employment front. I found a company that hires drivers. I have to study my manulas the rest of this week, and the week-end so I can take my CDL (Commercial Driver's License) test Monday. This is a fantastic opportunity! I'd be scheduled to work four hours a day driving a school bus. The rest of the day is mine. We are talking $300 a week for 20 hours of work. That's $15 hr. They also do charter work, so there will be other income potential. With this job as an anchor, I will be able to support myself, along with my Ad World gig. And, I will have the time to do my martial arts in the evening. Since I won't be busting my ass for eight hours a day at some menial paying job, I will have the time and the energy to pursue my dreams of getting a small group going. It doesn't have to be a money making opportunity. It just has to be something that brings me some personal satisfaction that I am making a difference in my life. I have to study hard the rest of this week.
April 26, 2005
Anna Ayala appears in Justice Court in Las Vegas at the Clark County Courthouse, Tuesday, April 26, 2005. Ayala who claimed she found a human finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili in San Jose, Calif., faces attempted grand theft charges, yet where that finger originated is apparently still a mystery. Ayala waived extradition to California.
This story just keeps getting better. I love the part about the fact the finger did not appear to have simmered in the chili. You have to love it! Someone must have actually examined the finger to see if any of the chili ingrediants such as special spices or whatever were present in the fleshy parts. I wonder how they did it? I can hear the inspector testifying to the court, "I can safely state that after carefully tasting the finger, it did not have any characteristics of a chili cooked digit." I'm waiting for the woman who cut the finger off to come forward and throw herself on the mercy of the court for getting involved in this scam. Of course, let me state that Anna Ayala is innocent until a court of law says otherwise. But you have to admit, this whole story sounds like a hoax. Plus her history for fraud? The odds are a million to one that she is telling the truth. Why drop the case? She has to be an idiot.
Ayala was arrested late Thursday, and San Jose police on Friday called her claim a hoax. Authorities said the attempted grand theft charge relates to millions in dollars of financial losses Wendy's has suffered since news broke of her claim.
Ayala maintains she bit down on a 1 1/2 inch-long finger fragment while dining March 22 with her family at a Wendy's in San Jose. She has denied placing the digit in her bowl.
She hired a lawyer and filed a claim against the franchise owner, but dropped the legal fight shortly after police searched her home.
Ayala, who has maintained her innocence, faces a maximum seven-year sentence if convicted of the larceny charges, and at least another 16 months if convicted of unrelated charges that she allegedly bilked a woman $11,000 over a soured real estate deal two years ago.
Ayala has been involved in nearly a dozen legal battles, including a sexual harassment suit against an employer, an auto dealer over a car and even another fast-food chain for food poisoning.
Authorities have not yet identified who the finger belonged to or Ayala's connection to it.
A person with knowledge about the case who spoke on condition of anonymity said the finger charge stemmed from San Jose police interviews with people who said Ayala described putting a finger in the chili, statements bolstered by authorities announcing last week that it did not appear the finger had been simmering in chili.
The company maintains that the finger did not enter the food chain in its ingredients. Employees at the San Jose franchise have all their fingers, and no suppliers of Wendy's ingredients reported any hand or finger injuries, the company said.
Wendy's, based at Dublin, Ohio, is offering $100,000 for information leading to the origin of the finger.
April 25, 2005
Sounds like Grandma has quite a green thumb. The quality of the bud she is growing is worth a pretty penny. There have been times I considered growing some weed myself, but I can't sell it. I never would feel comfortable with that. Just my luck I'd get arrested, and sent to jail. But, I would like to grow it for my own personal use. I have been clean for a very long time, but I like pot. It is a good pain killer, and it helps ease the stress of this crazy technological superhighway we are travling on. People need to slow down, and there is nothing better than weed to help with that. Weed sure beats alcohol. Booze is bad. I can't think of anything positive to say about booze. When ever someone goes nuts and goes on a killing spree, booze often is playing a part. You never hear about someone smoking a joint and going on a killing spree.
Pothead grandmother spared jail
A 66-year-old British grandmother with a taste for marijuana casserole was spared jail on Friday despite admitting she had shared cannabis-laced cookies with fellow pensioners.
Patricia Tabram from East Lea in the northern tip of England, who said she uses cannabis to alleviate pains in her neck and back, pleaded guilty to possession of the drug with intent to supply.
But Judge David Hodson said he would not make a "martyr" of her when she returned to Newcastle Crown Court for sentencing. Instead, she received a six-month suspended prison sentence.
The white-haired, bespectacled granny was unrepentant, and said she would keep cooking with pot.
"I had it this morning in my scrambled eggs and I'll have it again for lunch. I'm not giving it up,"
Tabram has become a symbol for Britain's legalize marijuana campaign. On her Web Site, Granma Eats Cannabis, she promises soon to provide free recipes, as well as tea towels and mugs for sale.
Last year, Britain downgraded cannabis from the same class as cocaine and ecstasy to a lower class of illegal drug, which means police are not expected to arrest people for possessing small amounts but can jail them for supplying it to others.
Police said they raided Tabram's home after a tip-off in May last year and found 31 cannabis plants along with hydroponic cultivation equipment. In a later raid they found 47 bags of "skunk," a particularly strong form of the drug.
The set-up at Tabram's home "bore all the hallmarks of any sophisticated drug dealer," police said in a statement.
April 24, 2005
For those of you who are thinking of joining a yoga class, a karate studio, or any other place where the mind, body, and spirit are nourished or "enlightenment" is part of the program, please read the article The Secret Life of Swami Muktananda.
I had a bad experience with my old Karate Instructor. I didn't leave on good terms, and I have felt bad about how things went down. But I have tried to forget it, and move on with a program of my own making that I can live with. It is hard to realize that people are not what they claimed to be. It pains your soul to know they weren't as rightous as they led on. And what the article says is true, you are the one "demonized." I don't know if I ever did talk about the crap that I uncovered at the Academy. It hurts to realize people you respected and trusted were using you, and in fact, didn't give a rat's ass about you as a person. I got my credentials out of it. I don't know if it was worth the mental abuse, and the eventual disappointment. But that is all water under the bridge. It is more of the same ... people are people. They may have gifts, powers, and talents, but in the end, they are not divine. If they demand worship, get your ass out the door immediately. I knew I was going to leave the Academy when I got my black belt, but the additional two and a half years I spent earning it isn't going to be worth the emotional cost spent if I don't move forward. I have a Destiny. It doesn't involve wealth, or fame. But I have a Destiny. I have been living in a black hole of fear and disappointment my entire life. I don't know if I will ever truly shake it loose. But if I don't keep fighting it, I will die. This article made me feel better knowing that I am not the only person in this life who is expereincing the let down of others. The human race is weak. You can not find peace through others. You might need others in your life, but they won't guide you to the final destination that is your Destiny. You have to do that on your own. That is why it is difficult. That is why most people turn their backs on Destiny. At times, it is a long and painful journey. A great part of the journey is walked in despair and darkness. Even if you are unable to see what is ahead, your faith keeps you walking forward. I haven't stopped moving forward, but I'm not walking. I am crawling forward on my hands and knees in mental anquish. I believe I am healing my Mind once and for all. The key is not to let it get sick again and again. Once I get it stronger this time, I have to keep it strong. That is going to take work. This work has to be performed on a daily basis. There is no ther way.
April 21, 2005
I have started remembering my dreams again. Dreams have always played an important role in my life. It has been a way for my sub-conscious mind to tell my conscious mind things it hasn't been able to understand, or things that my conscious mind has blocked, for what ever reason. I am glad that this is happening. I think I have been in a psychic "black hole" for sometime. Depression will do that to you. I have been working hard at using the power of my mind to get things right again, and this is an indication that things are getting back to normal.
I am actively searching for work. I may have to hit the "temp" circuit till I can get something, but the bills have to be paid.
That's about it. Nothing really exciting is happening. I am slowly putting things back into a perspective. Once I do get things back on track, I will have to work hard each day to sustain this new life I am building. New beginnings are great, but if you don't sustain them, you never get to that place where you should be. You are just starting over and over again. Being stuck in a time loop is not good.
Here is an update on the Wendy's story:
In a photo supplied by the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department Anna Ayala is shown. Ayala, the woman who claimed she found a finger in her bowl of Wendy's chili last month was arrested, Thursday night, April 21, 2005, at her Las Vegas home on a warrant out of San Jose, Calif. alleging grand larceny and attempted grand larceny, Las Vegas Police Sgt. Chris Jones said.
The fact that she is from Las Vegas doesn't surprise me. I wager she has a gambling problem, and needed the money. She has a history of going after corporate America with lawsuits. This alone points a finger towards fraud. If she had slipped a cockroach into her chilli, she would probably be laughing all the way to the bank. But a human finger? And well manicured at that? She has to be nuts. I can't wait to find out where the finger came from. I bet she has a partner in this who was going to split the reward with her. All this accomplice had to do was cut her finger off. When you have the gambling bug, lopping off a finger is a small price to pay for a million dollar bank roll.
April 19, 2005
Look, I know I'm opinionated, stubborn, and a general ass. People have told me I should not have cancelled my appointment to get my lungs checked out. I know I'm not a Doctor. But I do know this. If I have Emphysema, there isn't a great deal they can do to treat it. I know what to do. I've done my homework. I am doing just what "the Doctor" ordered anyway, so I am not going to waste my time scheduling another appointment. I don't have insurance right now, so I would be throwing several 100's of dollars away for nothing. I am not concerned about what the future holds for my lungs. I've lived with this thing a long time. I never complained about it. I never told people I was having trouble breathing. When I was a kid learning how to swim, I knew I had problems. I couldn't breath worth a damn. I just sucked it up. I made it through a very rigorous training schedule for 5 years climbing the mountain to black belt. There were times I thought my chest was going to explode, but I kept going. That is what I do. But I haven't been exercising like I was, and I can tell. My breathing gets shallow, and I start gasping. Stanima is the key to longevity. It is frightening to realize your lungs are shutting down. But you know what? This thing is going to kill me eventually. I might be 70-80 years old, but it will kill me. It might do me in sooner. When the time comes, I'll make my peace, and I'll take the next step on the journey, where ever that takes me.
April 17, 2005
This is the best place I have lived in for over 15 years. The place I lived in Vegas was OK, but this apartment has more room, and is newer. It is in a better neighborhood too. The neighborhood I lived in Vegas was a red light district, and the crime rate was high.
I need to get serious about getting employed again. I am a bit overwhelemd with thoughts churning inside my head. I have to focus on what is important, and stop worrying about the other stuff. I have always been too sensitive. I have to block out a great deal of incoming information that isn't important. I have to get back into a routine. Without it, I tend to get crazy.
April 14, 2005
I'm here. All my stuff is moved. I decided to scrap some of the furniture I had. It was curb side crap anyway. I can get by without it for now. I hauled my matress over. If my former landlord can't find time to move the boxspring and the frame for me, I'll scrap them too. I like sleeping on the matress only. I like a firm support. It seems that it is better for my back. Boxsprings tend to sag after time, and they aren't that comfortable.
I have a lot of sorting, arranging, and re-arranging to do. It will take some time, but I am all in so that's all that matters right now. I have to get focused on bringing home the bacon again. I have to pay for this place like all of us do. The bills aren't going to stop coming into the mailbox.
That's about it for now. I really don't feel like typing and talking about where I'm at. I have to make some mental adjustments.
One last thing. I just read a story about this dude who dug up a corpse, removed the head, and took it with him. The evidence points to his taking the head to make some sort of bong or pipe to smoke marijuana with. Who was this guy's old man, Ed Gein? Morons like that give pot smokers a bad name. It sounds like a planted story to me. The Government couldn't come up with a better argument against smoking weed than to say it makes you dig up dead bodies and violate them. I think his parents tried to explain the situation by saying he was "just an excitable boy."
April 12, 2005
It's raining. I am moving my belongings over to my new apartment today. I have made several trips moving things over in my car. When I am finnished, all that will be left is the few furniture items I own; my bed, some tables and chairs, some end tables.
I plan on having everything over there this week-end. I hope my phone is hooked up soon. I am going with a different carrier, since I found out that I am unable to transfer my present local service. I was told it could be, but that information was incorrect. Funny, the phone company didn't bother telling me, they just cancelled the order, and sent me a letter in the mail welcoming me as a new customer. I called the company and tried getting some straight answers from the customer service people I talked to. They behaved like children. One man hung up the phone on me. Another woman was openly hostile because I caught her giving me a "song and dance" story. When I pointed out the flaws in her brush -off explanation, she had a temper tamtrum. I think I got it through to them between the hostility and the tantrums what was supposed to be done. I'll see what happens. By the way, the phone company I am referring to is Verizon. I had trouble with them before.
The bigger these corporation get, the worse the service becomes. They figure they have a license to steal. They do and they know it. With wealth comes privilege. Privledge is outside of the law. The legal system in this country is for the rich and powerful. Honest, hard working, poor individuals have no rights. We are nothing more than beasts of burden, toiling the soil so others can sit up in the big house enjoying the fruits of our labor. If we don't have a lower caste, we can't have a privledged caste. I was taught in school that the cream rises. Those who work hard and play by the rules can rise up to a high standard of living. The truth is, shit floats to the top. If the lower caste accumulates too much, 401k's are raided, the price of things we need to survive sky rocket.
This is how things are. This is how things will be. If you are willing to serve, you might get a few crumbs off of Master's table.
I'm avoiding what is really on my mind. This move has once again put in to clear focus how alone I am, and how empty my life is. I had my chances for true love. I pushed them away. The fear of having it all taken from me was greater than my desire to overcome this fear. I understand this now. It isn't too late to start over again and build a life I can enjoy. I certainly don't enjoy looking in the mirror every morning and seeing a sole reflection. I derserve better than that. I like my new place. It is so much nicer than what I have been living in. But I feel sad because moves into new places are a beginning. This move reinforces my belief that I don't belong here in this time or place. I am stuck here for the time being. I have to make the best of it.
I am reading Secret Teachings of All Ages. Fantastic information. I have compiled an attractive e-book that I am selling. I don't know if anyone will buy it. For $9.00, you aren't going to find a better deal, or a nicer gift for someone interested in this vast treasure trove of knowledge.
That's about it for now. I should go back to work moving and unpacking my things. It's time to make this place my new home. It's time to accept where I am, and what I have to do.
April 9, 2005
Ever notice that some people have an over inflated opinion of themselves? You've met them at work, or in a social environment. You say hello, and they ignore you. You try to treat them nice, and they turn their noses up. They've never accomplished anything special. They have personal problems. They don't like themselves. They know you have reached a level of understanding and peace they can only fantasize about. So they convince themselves you aren't up to their standards. They convince themselves they are above the masses, when in reality, they are the dregs of society. It's people like these that give humanity a bad stench.
I don't have time for these people. I'm not going to pretend I give a damn anymore. I haven't got the time to waste on these basket cases. I don't need human contact so badly that I am going to sacrifice common sense caring about losers. I have one great friend, and that is me. Time to start respecting that person.
I don't have a need so great that I will love a lie in order to meet it. If I ever find myself in that position, I better open up my eyes. I may discover my head is up my ass. Better I discover it on my own accord, than to have it pointed out to me by flippant remarks, and rolling eyes.
April 7, 2005
A chip off the old block?
Fossil Apparently Human Ancestor
New fossil finds and a computer skull reconstruction bolster the case that an ancient creature that grabbed headlines in 2002 really is the earliest known ancestor of modern humans, researchers say.
In that year, scientists announced finding jaw fragments, some isolated teeth and a skull of a creature nicknamed "Toumai" in Chad. At some 6 million to 7 million years old, the fossils came from around the time of a major split in the evolutionary tree, with one branch leading eventually to humans and the other branch leading to chimps.
April 6, 2005
We all need to talk about things that bother us to friends we can trust. That is human nature. But there are lines and boundaries. If you are calling people day after day and complaining about the same issues, you got problems. I am the kind of person who can get stuck feeling a certain way about certain things. If I get on a negative bent, I can stay there for awhile. I always snap out of it eventually, and I am recognizing the signs that I am drifting towards the stuck stage sooner. That is positive. I don't like the idea of bothering people with my concerns. If I am, I ask. If I know I have, I apologise.
My job situation hasn't been good. But I'll be damned if I am going to be abused for peanuts. If you want to abuse me, pay me more. If you don't want to do that, I'll find a better paying job. CWC was a nightmare. If 100 people started on the same day, a year later 2 or 3 might still be there. I lasted 15 months. RFDF was a joke. I sued them for unemplyment and won. My last place was a shit hole. They were paying me $9.32 for a job that was paying $18.00 in Tampa, Florida. The last week I was there, I was harassed because I presented information favorable to a client. I was reminded that we were "contra-revenue" ... meaning we don't give clients back money that was stolen from them. For the entire week they did nothing but give me a hard time about it. I was told to gather my evidence to present to the legal team that was screaming at me to "get the money back." Someone even went into my evidence bank in the computer, and erased a document to support the case. I should blow the whistle on them. I still haven't decided if it is worth it. I can't collect unemployment because of my job with AdWorld Online. I quit last week. They didn't deserve a two weeks notice. I should just chalk it up to experience and let it go. They can't do anything to me legally. Before I quit, it was decided I had worked the dispute correctly, but I was constantly told in no uncertain terms not to let this happen again. I worked the case strictly according to procedure set by the company. They can kiss my ass. It won't happen again because some poor fool taking my place will get the heat for doing his job.
I haven't quit these places because they were comfortable well paying positions with a future. I am seeking hapiness and peace. I do not seek chaos in my life. I do not seek out people with an abundance of personal problems. I do not appreciate seeing people freaking out. I don't like seeing myself freak out! This is what was happening at these crap jobs. Life is too short for that.
I'm going to stay positive, even if the present state of affairs is not that good. I will pay my bills. I will get myself situated doing something I enjoy. I'm doing my web administration for Adworld Online, and I like it. Things take time to build. I am working out again. I have to start nearer the bottom than I had hoped, but I will climb a bit higher each week. Things are good if you stay focused, and create with your Mind the life you want to live in. You have to create your Reality. If you are living with a compulsive preoccupation about pain, your Reality will center around pain. If you are living with worry, your Reality will reflect worry. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. But when we are stuck in a world of pain and fear, it is hard to find your way out of the maze. The way out starts with your Mind. The Mind is the most powerful instrument in this Universe. Those who master it, will master their destiny.
I don't intend to focus on the fruit cakes running around loose either. But they are out there. Beware! That is all I'm saying. I will have good things to say here in this Blog. I have written good things. I will continue doing this.
Here are some mugshots to look at. Have fun with them.
If you've ever been arrested and had a "mugshot" taken, don't become famous. If you do, your picture might end up here. If you are making millions of dollars, maybe it won't make a difference to you. It has been said there is no such thing as bad publicity.
Recognize the man above? I'll give you two clues - Sports. Ring a bell?
Here was the perfect candidate for the 19 cent solution. Science determined he had an extra Y-chromosome, and came to the brilliant conclusion this genetic deformity may have been a factor in his aggressive / psychotic behavior. It was this kind of thinking that sent Jeffery Dahmer to the Portage Correctional Facility. If you don't recognize this freak, then you can read about him at this link..
I have been using the Firefox Email program called Thunderbird. It has a great spam filtering system. It takes a little work, but once you get it rolling, that crap goes right to the Trash Folder. I saved this one because I liked the sincerity:
"Welcome to Health suite. Check it out!
Viagra Vicodin Cialis Valium Xanax
Save up to 50%
0rder With Us.
We are the only store which gives this great deal to you.
May the Lord bless you and protect you!"
I would have signed off saying - Praise the Lord and pass the pain killers!
April 5, 2005
I have said I intend this Blog to provide you with thoughts, and links to information you may not of otherwise considered.
Morals and Dogma by Albert Pike is one such link, and body of information. This book completes a "trilogy" of links I have provided. I know I have mentioned the name of Albert Pike in reference to the coming New World Order. I have suggested you read about him, and come to understand what he preached. What is interesting is the conclusions many of these "enlightened" thinkers had ... humanity can't be trusted to it's own designs. Human nature is too ignorant to govern themselves. Humanity must be led. Humanity must be guided. If left to it's own accord, the only results are chaos and destruction. I can't argue with that. Sadly enough, with all our science, our educational system, and our technology, man is still a brute and a fool destined to wander the Earth clothed in animal skins.
I have come to the sad conclusion that A New World Order is probably the only thing that may save mankind from total annihilation. This concludes my thoughts on the matter. Let History unfold as it is designed. I don't give a rat's ass. I care about myself, and providing myself with the material, and spiritual needs that will sustain my life. I hear the drums calling me. Never look back.
April 4, 2005
Pope John Paul II talks with his would-be assassin Mehmet Ali Agca during a private meeting in Agca's prison cell in Rome in this undated picture. Agca, the Turkish gunman who seriously wounded the pope during a 1981 assassination attempt, is mourning the pope's death from his Turkish prison cell.
Agca has given conflicting reasons for his 1981 assassination attempt and has sometimes suggested his actions were part of God's plan.
"The divine plan has come to its conclusion," Agca said in his handwritten letter.
If you believe in The Three Secrets of Fatima then this man is not a sinner, but a Saint sent by God. You have to accept the current interpretation of the Roman Catholic Church, and to a greater extent, Pope John Paul II's interpretation of the Secrets to get a full appreciation on just what this man has accomplished. Hey, you live by the sword people. If you don't like what I'm saying, examine what your belief systems are telling you.
April 3, 2005
I suppose I should say something about the Pope. Even though I almost got sexually molested by some perverted priest back when I was an altar boy, I can't hold him personally responsible, or can I? I said I would get around to it, and now that the Pope is laying out on a slab for all to worship, I think this is the time.
The year was 1962. Time Magazine's Man of The Year, Pope John XXIII, convened the Ecumenical Council called Vatican II. This set in motion ideas and forces that would change the face of Roman Catholoism. Little did anyone know the perversions that lurked deep within the Catholic Churches across America, and the private underground railroads that shuttled pedophiles from one parish to another. This secret would remain uncovered till New York Times journalist Pam Belluck puplished this story April 9, 2002:
Boston -- High-ranking officials in the Boston Archdiocese vouched for the character of a priest when he was transferred to California and later New York, even though they knew he had been accused of sexual abuse over 30 years, according to documents released today.
The documents, provided by a lawyer representing accusers who obtained them under court order from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston, paint a picture of how church officials at the highest levels knew for years about accusations of sexual abuse against the priest, the Rev. Paul Shanley, but allowed him to work as a priest and have contact with children.
Cardinal Bernard F. Law
And so it began. Cardinal Bernard F. Law, Head of the Boston Archdiocese made excuses for Shanley, as he had been doing for over 20 years. The Pope never spoke openly about this case. He was deeply troubled by it all. I'm sure he was, now that the genie was out of the bottle.
I had just finnished serving the 6:00am early service. The clothes we wore to serve mass were down in the basement. No one ever came down there. It was sort of "our" place. This one particular day was different. A visiting priest, who's name I can't recall, came down in the basement. I was alone. He asked me to pull my pants down to "check my genitals out." He said it was his duty to see that I was developing normally. I told him if there was anything wrong with me down there, my Dad would check them out. He moved closer towards me. I asked him what he was doing. He continued to approach me. I knew something was wrong. I told him if he tried to hurt me, I was going to tell Father Henry. Father Henry was the pastor. His response to that was, "Father Henry knows what I'm doing." I was really afraid at this point. I made my last threat. I told him if he tried to hurt me, I was going to tell my Dad what he asked me do to, and he would beat him up. At that point, his entire attidude changed. He told me he was just testing me to see if I was a "good boy." He would never do anything to harm me. You see, we were trained (brainwashed) into not telling on the people in authority over us. They represented God, so what they said went. No one questioned them. If you did, you got a beating, and sadly enough, your parents were also brainwashed into believing that it must have been for your own good. These perverts knew the score. They could rape with impunity.
This experience damaged my faith and ability to trust people. The entire Catholoism experience was a blemish on my personality. I have later met people who sought professional help to deal with their own personal tramas endured by the priests and the nuns who had complete control over them. I told myself I was never going to trust anyone again. And in many ways, I never have.
I never did tell my old man what happened. The reason I never did was because he wouldn't have done anything about it, even if I had been molested. The priest who tried to get in my pants had vanished the next day. He thought he might as well score one last trophy before he left for his next stop.
A couple weeks had gone by, and me and some other altar boys in my class were down in the Church basement hanging out. If we ever got caught down there, we always said we were cleaning the place up. I brought the subject up about this priest. I told my friends he had asked me to pull my pants down so he could check my nuts out. Everyone got excited! He had tried the same thing on them. One guy said he did pull his pants down because he was told this "examination" was coming straight from Father Henry. "What happened, what happened?" we all asked. He started jacking me off was the reply. We all laughed. It wasn't really funny, but it eased the tention. I told them I had told the guy I was going to tell my old man on him, and that my old man was going to pound his head in. Everyone agreed that this was a good idea I had. Another guy had said that this nut case had jacked him off too, and wanted to stick his finger up his ass. He said he stared yelling, and he stopped. "I didn't know what else to do." We are supposed to do everything they say! But I wasn't going to let him stick his finger in my butt!"
At this point, one of the fellows in the group started crying. We all went silent. "I didn't know what else to do", he cried. That was all he could say over and over, "I didn't know what to do." We told him not to feel bad, it wasn't his fault. We told him this guy was sick. He just started crying louder. "I should have told him I was going to tell my Dad like you did John, but I just was too afraid." Eventually, he calmed down, and we all headed out to the playground. This classmate moved out of town shortly after this happened. Fate only knows what really happened to him, or how his life was affected by this. This incident affected all of us in our own personal ways. Multiply that by ten's of thousands.
So that's the story. I don't think much of the Roman Catholic Church, or the Pope. I feel no sorrow in my heart. I'm sure he passed on the keys to the strong boxes before he died, or wispered into the ear of some cardinal the combination to the secret vault. I lost my faith in 1962. In fact, I am starting to think I need to exclusively focus on myself. If other people are helped in some ways through me helping myself, so be it. What has humanity done for me? It has tried to stick it's finger up my ass.
Daylight-Saving Time to Begin Sunday
WASHINGTON - It's time to shift an hour of light to the evening, as most of America switches to daylight-saving time. Clocks move ahead one hour at 2 a.m. Sunday, local time.
Standard time returns the last Sunday in October.
April 2, 2005
The Libri of Aleister Crowley
"It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you the act you've know for all these years,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ..."
The following link will provide you with enough source material to keep you occupied for the next 10 years. Anything you ever wanted to know about magick, and the ancient mysteries are covered by the man who referred to himself as the Beast 666. - Aleister Crowley. If you are unfamiliar with who he was, then you are missing out on one of the truely great stories of the 20th Century.
Many believe that this man was Satan's emissary here on Earth. I supppose you have to believe in Satan to even come close to believing that. Read some of his vast publications, and decide for yourself. What is interesting about the photograph is that the writings in the background were not visible until I enhanced the picture with Photoshop 7.0. There are symbols in the background I recognize as signs of the Zodiac. I believe they refer to his time of birth, and what house he was born into.The O.T.O refers to the Order Templar Orientis. It is an Ancient Organization, but through the power of his will, Crowley re-invented it into his own image. That was the charisma of Aleister Crowley.
I really don't know what to believe in anymore. Everything I thought was true has turned out to be half truths. But knowledge is good. If there be Darkness, than there is Light. Further study and contemplation will reveal to you that they are one of the same, each a part of the other. Without One, there is nothing.
I have come to a greater understanding of why I am hated and despised by some people. This knowledge alone has brought me some peace. It is better to see the Darkness for what it is than to blindly stumble around in it. For that, I am grateful.
I am concentrating on a collected work called:
The Secret Teachings of All Ages
AN ENCYCLOPEDIC OUTLINE OF
MASONIC, HERMETIC,
QABBALISTIC AND ROSICRUCIAN
SYMBOLICAL PHILOSOPHY
Being an Interpretation of the Secret Teachings concealed within the Rituals, Allegories,
and Mysteries of all Ages By Manly P. Hall
SAN FRANCISCO
PRINTED FOR MANLY P. HALL
BY H.S. CROCKER COMPANY, INCORPORATED
MCMXXVIII
I have found this work to be an excellent primer for further study of The Libri of Aleister Crowley. I suppose some people would say that the materials I am reading are the foundation of witchcraft. They are correct. I do not endorse Evil. As I have said, Knowledge is Power. How you use it is the definition of Good or Evil. To understand the Darkness is to understand the Light. That is my intention.
Looking at where my Mind is today, I can see great change. There is a Time for Change, and at this point in my life, I intend to re-invent my own Mind. It needs Strength and Focus. I do not intend to wander the Earth in Ignorance. Ignorance is for ther Weak.
Why the Sgt. Pepper reference? That is for you to find out.
This news just in ...
VATICAN CITY - Pope John Paul II, the Polish pontiff who led the Roman Catholic Church
for more than a quarter century and became history's most-traveled pope, has died at 84.
April 1, 2005
April Fool? I wonder just what this kid was thinking. Did he struggle? Was he stoned and just doesn't want anyone to find out he is a true dumbass? I really don't care to be honest. I have a lot of things on my own plate right now to waste time thinking about this fool. The story is appropriate for April Fools Day, so I thought I'd add it to the Blog.
Forced Tattoo Victim Describes the Attack
As reported in What's New earlier this week, a 17-year-old boy from Norwich, N.Y., was assaulted by a man and another teenager who pinned him down and forcibly tattooed an obscene phrase on his forehead using a homemade tattoo tool. Now that boy, identified as Milton Romanowski Jr., a high school dropout, is speaking about the vicious and bizarre attack against him.
Although Romanowski said he struggled for 20 minutes while the two tattooed him against his will, attorneys for the alleged assailants, Kenneth D. Peer, 23, and Travis D. Foster, 17, question why none of the three has any scratches, bruises, or other injuries that would indicate a struggle took place, report The Associated Press and Oneonta Daily Star. Peer and Foster have been charged with second-degree assault and first-degree unlawful imprisonment. If convicted, they could face up to seven years in prison. The two remain in jail on $25,000 bail.
Romanowski told the judge in a 90-minute hearing that "Peer and Foster physically restrained him in a chair as they used a tattoo gun to mark his forehead with a four-word phrase and an obscene image," reports AP. The two teens had been friends since they were children, but Romanowski said Foster was angry with him because he thought Romanowski was trying to steal his girlfriend. He said that Peer pinned his arms behind him, while Foster straddled his body and sat on him. Romanowski told the judge he tried to resist at first, but then submitted because "there was no way to get away." He said Peer and Foster "were laughing hysterically" when they applied the tattoo.
The defense maintains that Romanowski consented to the tattooing, calling his account of the events "preposterous." The judge determined that no one consents to that kind of tattoo on his forehead and ordered the case be handed over to the grand jury. Romanowski has scheduled medical appointments for the lengthy and expensive process of having the tattoo removed. The Oneonta Daily Star reports that a local doctor has offered to remove the tattoo at no charge. "I just cried. I was so happy to hear that someone wanted to give up between $3,000 and $4,000 to do it for free," he told the Daily Star. "At least I know there are some good people out there." He admitted he is worried about scarring.